The 10 best pieces of advice for dads-to-be
Having a baby is just as overwhelming for a new dad as it is for a new mom. But many times, women get the most attention. Thankfully, the experienced dads of Reddit are here to encourage new fathers and answer their questions.
On the sub-Reddit "Daddit," you'll find a treasure trove of wisdom and support from veteran dads. Who knew such a wonderful community of uplifting dads even existed on the internet? New dadditors, old dadditors, confused dadditors and dadditors desperately in need of help — everyone is welcome to post their honest thoughts and receive answers.
If you're a new dad struggling to keep your head above water, this sub-Reddit is one you'll appreciate. Here are the 10 best pearls of wisdom from dadditors ready to lend a helping hand.
1. Am I ready for a child?
When FullmanaAlchemist asked wise dadditors about the benefits of waiting to have kids, responses were plentiful. Hobbes9 honed in on the most important factor to consider before having kids: the quality of your relationship.
He said, "We've got a 2-year-old, and our second is coming in September. The big question I have for you is, how long have you and her been together? The reason I ask that is I'd say the biggest thing about having kids is just about all of your time and energy will go towards the child(ren). You're not living together now, and that first year is a real adjustment to things. I would recommend that you spend a little bit of time getting used to living together and being around each other for your entire day. Experience being married."
2. Am I ready for a third child?
"It all depends on spacing. Mine are 10, 7, and almost 3 (all boys). So the older ones could help with the younger. I think the more you have in infant stage, the more stress you're bringing on yourself."
3. Any tips for a first-time dad of a little girl?
One expecting mom, posting on behalf of her significant other, asked Daddit what a first-time dad-to-be of a daughter could expect. Peteschweddy offered the perfect advice to calm a newbie dad's nerves: "Tell him not to be nervous if it's a girl. I'm a typical red-meat eating, farting, sports-loving dad who wanted a little son but got a daughter. Daughters are the best. I was outside just a few weeks ago with a pink scarf building a snowman. My life is Disney princesses and dress up, and I love it. He can just be 'dad' to a daughter. It's incredibly fulfilling. We plan to have one more child, and I'll take another girl any day."
4. Does it get better?
"Fatherhood is kind of like a poorly designed video game, where the first level is the hardest, and it gets progressively easier over time."
5. How do I handle the terrible twos?
"One thing I learned is that the more I tried to console and comfort my daughter when she is having a tantrum, the harder she would cry and escalate. I started trying to ignore the tantrums, and they have gone from a 45 minute scream session to 30 seconds of crying, and then she gives up."
6. How do I talk to my son about divorce?
Notsurehowtodothis posted his plea to Daddit, asking for help with talking to his almost 4-year-old son about moving out after separating from his wife. TheKidd's heartfelt advice stuck out from the crowd: "I just went through this with my 8-year-old daughter. My wife is the one moving out, however. Every piece of advice on here is good. One thing my therapist told me is worth mentioning here: Kids, no matter what they say, will always think it's their fault. So constantly tell him it isn't his fault. Do this until he's 18 years old."
7. I literally just had a baby. Help?
"Don't worry about doing everything 'right.' Get opinions and ask questions, but, you'll find your own versions of 'right.' Congrats and enjoy the best gig in the world!"
8. I literally just found out we are having twins. Help?
Experienced Dbadaddy and father of twin boys offered his guidance: "One at a time. Two babies crying? Soothe one at a time. Two dirty? One at a time. Two hungry? One at a time. To get through it, just remember one at a time." Theintention added for good measure: "I just watched the Full House where Jesse has twins. Buy them orange and mint colored booties. Didn't work for him, but it might for you."
9. My wife is going into labor any minute. Help?
"Do not drive like a maniac. In all likelihood, she'll start feeling contractions, but it won't be bad enough like on TV or movies where the kid comes out in five minutes."
10. What simple and delicious meals can a new dad cook?
"My favorite go-to meals for families: Ground beef + taco seasoning + shells + cheese = taco night! 5 lb. bottom round chuck roast + 6 potatoes + 6 carrots + 2 celery + crockpot for 8 hours on low = pot roast. Cubed chicken breast + olive oil + basil + pasta + parmesan cheese = chicken pasta."