In light of the recent measles outbreak that was believed to have started at Disneyland and has now spread to 17 states, parents who vaccinate aren’t happy. In 2015, 102 people have contracted measles so far, a disease that is completely vaccine preventable.
So, when a woman like Stephanie Messenger writes a self-published children’s book called Melanie’s Marvelous Measles, intended to “educate children on the benefits of having measles,” backlash is a given.
Messenger, a mother of three unvaccinated children, may have been surprised to see more than 1,200 reviews on her children’s book, courtesy of some clever trolls on Amazon. The tongue-in-cheek reviews that address the topic of the book, “how you can heal from [measles] naturally and successfully,” would be hilarious if they didn’t hit so close to home.
As a mother of two vaccinated children who doesn’t appreciate this measles outbreak one bit, I take sick pleasure in how hard Messenger got trolled for her anti-vaxx stance on Amazon. Here are 10 of the best “reviews:”
1. Can’t wait to read the series
“I’m thrilled to see what’s next! Melanie’s Fun Funeral? Melanie’s Beautiful Blindness? There are so many great options!”
2. Coffin sales are through the roof
“As a carpenter who specializes in itty-bitty coffins, I can’t say enough good things about this book. My customer base has been growing at an epidemic rate!”
3. Could use a braille version
“My infant daughter went blind after contracting measles from an unvaccinated child, and yet there’s no braille version of this wonderful book for me to give her someday to explain to her how awesome the disease that took her sight away is.”
4. Dads love it
“Amazing DIY book. Didn’t much care for my kids, and with the help of this book, I put ’em in their place once and for all! That’ll learn them to beat me at Mario Kart.”
5. Grandparents love it
“I would recommend this book to my elderly relatives, so that they can re-live their childhood experiences of becoming miserably ill with contagious diseases. It would be especially interesting to the ones who had to endure permanent disabilities afterwards, or who had to attend their siblings’ funerals.”
6. Moms love it
“I really don’t understand why there are so many negative reviews on this book. Before contracting the measles from a neighborhood measles party, my 2-year-old son was curious, rambunctious and a bit of a handful if I’m honest. As a stay-at-home mom, I really had to work hard to keep up with him and find creative ways to stimulate his imagination. It was fun, but also mentally exhausting at times. As soon as he caught the measles, he became so boring and lethargic that I was able to sit and watch my soap operas all day, every day!”
7. Perfect story for bedtime
“I really enjoyed reading this book to my child. The only issue is that because I am deaf in one ear because of measles I have trouble hearing her reaction, so I have to assume she’s enjoying the book too.”
8. Polio is fun too!
“What a wonderful book! I can’t wait for the next installment: Paul’s Perfect Polio! Watch as Paul contracts polio and all the fun he has with his brand-new, shiny iron lung!”
9. Thanks for bringing back an antiquated disease
“As a medical student, I just wanted to thank the author for promoting beliefs that will provide the amazing opportunity to see and treat measles patients first-hand! Even most of my professors have never seen measles in their lifetime, and I’m looking forward to the day when the first measles patient shows up in my hospital. Maybe it will happen tomorrow!”
10. Who needs safety?
“The best book I have read since Infant Car Seats Are for Sissies.”