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How to get your kids to respect you

Being a mum is one thing but gaining respect from your kids is another. It can be difficult to be a great role model, a loving mum and also someone your kids respect.

Mother and daughter

Here are a few tips on how to be someone your kids look up to.

Remember that respect is earned

If your kids play up or are disrespectful to you, do not show them the same respect you would if they were behaving. Respect is earned and becomes worthless if it is dished out regardless of behaviour. However, this means that you cannot simply ignore your child and good behaviour needs to be rewarded. They will soon realise there is a pattern and you will give them the respect they deserve when they will strive to receive it. There is nothing better to a child than gaining the respect of an adult.

Respect your children

Listen to their ideas, views and opinions and let them have their say, even if you don’t agree with them. By showing them respect, you are treating them how you would like to be treated. Even the youngest of children will appreciate this and start to respect you as you do them.

Don’t go to their level

Kids don’t know any better when they are younger and will try to push the boundaries when they are older. If they are being disrespectful or difficult, make sure you don’t stoop to their level by being unreasonable back. This will only cause more problems. Unless you set a good example they will never learn to respect you.

Treat your partner with respect

This is probably the most important way to teach your children respect. We all have disagreements with our partners, but never be disrespectful to them in front of your children. Otherwise the kids will think this is an OK way to behave. Whatever problems you have going on in the background, always put on a united front and show your children that you treat one another with dignity and respect. This goes for all family members. Growing up in a respectful household does wonders for children’s temperament, views and morals and they learn by watching their parents treat each other well, even if they have separated.

Follow through

Another way to gain respect from your kids is to follow through with your promises and also, your threats. If you have promised your child an ice cream in the park if he does his homework and then say you are too busy, you will immediately lose the respect of that child. However, by following through he will learn that you will do everything you say, within reason, even if it means he does indeed get no tea after a tantrum! Being consistent with rules and praising is a fundamental key to gaining respect and will teach him to be the same with other people.

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