The 10 most annoying things a mom will ever say on Facebook

Jan 30, 2015 at 9:00 a.m. ET

It's a scientific fact that having a baby messes with your brain. Though you love your new bundle of joy and want the world to know, take a moment to gather your thoughts before you post to social media.

Facebook parenting over-shares have become so common that there is a whole movement that chronicles parents who show their asses on social media. Blair Koenig's blog and STFU, Parents book have put what many call today's self-indulgent parenting generation on the map.

Scoff if you will, but we have all been there before. Sure, we vow never to post something cheesy or embarrassing about our kids on social media, but we do it anyway. I know I have been guilty of almost every Facebook sin on this list.

1. "I'm 8 centimeters dilated — it's almost time now"

Eyeroll

Image: Giphy.com

Epic parent over-shares start before a baby even enters the world. No matter how excited you are, talking about your cervix will always be TMI.

2. "Emma said "nama" instead of "mama," and it was hilarious"

Chris Pratt

Image: Giphy.com

I know this one all too well. I, too, think that everything that comes out of my children's mouths is the best thing that has ever been said. But trust me when I say, your friends will never appreciate baby talk humor the way you do.

3. "Has anyone seen a rash like this before?"

James Franco

Image: Giphy.com

This is a tempting post for any freaked-out new parent to make, but hold the phone for a minute. Most of your friends don't want to see a picture of your kid's crusty rash. If the rash really is that bad, reach out to your pediatrician, not friends who have gone to "Google Medical School."

4. "Aiden finally pooped in the potty"

Simon Lewis

Image: Giphy.com

Stick to one simple etiquette rule to keep your friends on Facebook: Never post a public poop pic. Save those gems for your husband and mother.

5. "Jonah got straight A's at day care"

Parks and Rec

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I know that your child is stunningly smart, but this is not a thing. Wait until your kid starts school to brag about his academic achievements.

6. "I've never been more exhausted in my life — having kids really takes it out of you"

Clockwork Orange

Image: Giphy.com

This is unequivocally true, but you know who else is exhausted? Students, hard-working career types and anyone else with a demanding schedule.

7. "A toddler meltdown, a forgotten backpack that I had to bring to school, a fussy baby who didn't want to nap — no matter what, I love being a mama!"

Claire Danes

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Girl, pour yourself a glass of wine and have an ugly cry — sometimes parenting just sucks.

8. "Your children need your presence more than your presents"

Oprah

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Inspirational parenting quotes are inspiring, but I can guarantee that your friends have heard it all before. Save these sappy quotes for a decorative wall hanging and skip the share button.

9. "The recent terrorist attacks remind me how lucky I am to have my children"

Nicki Minaj

Image: Giphy.com

Eh, I get that we all react to shocking news in our own way. But take a beat before posting a status that makes a national tragedy all about you.

10. "Being a mother is the most fulfilling thing that I have ever done, and I wouldn't trade it for the world"

Jim Carrey

Image: Giphy.com

I feel this way too. We have so much in common. But in the age of competitive social media bragging, most people don't appreciate these parenting "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy" popping up on their feed. If you really love your kids to the moon and back, show — don't tell.

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