Unlicensed Frozen app teaches kids about pregnancy, C-sections and birth
Look, I like Frozen as much as the next frustrated parent, but even I can admit when we are beating a dead horse. The movie, the song, the gear, the brawls at the mall over Frozen Christmas presents. App developers have officially jumped the Frozen shark in unlicensed apps that let kids help pregnant Anna and Elsa give birth.
Yes, you heard that right. Anna Giving Birth by Oleg Vinogorodov can be found on iTunes with downloads available for iPhone and iPad. So the good, or rather disturbing, news is that your young daughter can download a weird ass app that requires her to give Anna a C-section and birth her baby using a virtual scalpel.
The app developer has an interesting portfolio, to put it mildly. Vinogorodov is responsible for developing Howleen Wolf Manicure, Viperine Gorgon Haircut and Makeover For Briar Beauty. But clearly, Anna Giving Birth is the jewel in his crown.
The unlicensed app is set on this premise, "Anna got married and she was pregnant in the spring. Now nine months had elapsed, and it's time to give birth to a baby. Anna needs a very experienced doctor to help her deliver her baby. Let's come to help her!"
Uncomfortable as it may be, your child is expected to immediately learn about the birds and the bees by becoming Anna's virtual doctor during the birth of her child. In the app, Anna is very, very pregnant. A cursor is used as a fetal monitor to check the baby's vitals. The child is directed to inject Anna with a needle to give her an epidural. Anna goes to sleep.
Then comes the fun part — your child will perform a virtual C-section! By dragging a small scalpel across Anna's large pregnant belly, a magical orb, followed by a cute baby, is born. But as any mother who has undergone a C-section knows, the hard work isn't done yet. The child will use the virtual scalpel to cut the baby's umbilical cord. Yippee.
Suffice it to say, the Elsa version of the app isn't any better. In the game, Elsa breastfeeds her adorable newborn after giving birth in the hospital.
Image: Mommy's Newborn Baby
While the weirdness of this app entices me as an adult, Anna Giving Birth is not for little girls. Most parents aren't going to be happy when their kids are exposed to every aspect of childbirth wrapped up in a cutesy package and come away thinking that you can cut babies out of a pregnant woman with a glowing magic wand.
But if your child has already downloaded this train wreck, don't be too hasty to delete it. After hearing "Let It Go" so many times that it will be seared into my brain forever, I'm ready to mix it up. I know what I'm going to be playing with when the kids go to bed.