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Your son is not your valentine

Valentine’s Day has been and always will be a grown-up holiday about love. It’s adorable to buy your son candy and participate in his class party. But don’t make the mistake of taking it too far.

Bring up this overload of motherly love on Valentine’s Day, and most moms of boys are going to get their feathers ruffled. Probably thanks to the artificial bubble of Facebook, the elite “moms of boys” club has become a modern phenomenon. If you throw a hashtag at the end of your post, it is OK to love your son just a little too much: #lovemyboys, #momofboys, #loveofmylife, #littleman.

Post on Facebook about your overwhelming love for your son, often called the “new man” in your life, and no one will question it. This “moms of boys” social media obsession is socially acceptable every day of the year, but I really feel for those little boys on Valentine’s Day.

The mama’s boy cliché of decades past is not dead. It has just taken on a new form on the internet. This overbearing love is alive and well in women who call their newborn sons the love of their life, a little heartbreaker and the only man who could steal their heart.

These verbose exaggerations of love would be hilarious if they weren’t true. I am also a mother of two boys, and I am still waiting for that moment when my “mom of boys” love wells up — sending me into a tailspin and forcing me to overuse hashtags on social media. Right now, I feel like I love my sons the appropriate amount. But if this mother-son love is really so special, that could be subject to change.


Image: Nightcapnelly/Tumblr

Here’s a direct quote from a popular mother-son inspirational meme that you have likely seen circulated on Facebook: “You’ll be… his first kiss, his first love, his first friend. You are his momma, and he is your whole world. He is your little boy!”

Mother son quote

Image: MyQuotesHome

Something about this sentiment makes “moms of boys” want to click with their itchy trigger fingers and share, share, share. But I would like to be the first to say: Ick. This mother-son obsession is not normal, and it certainly is not unconditional love. Don’t get me started on equating kissing your newborn son with the romantic first kiss he will have later on in life.

With Valentine’s Day coming up, well-meaning “moms of boys” can take this opportunity to pump the brakes. The mother-son relationship is certainly special, but it is not romantic in the least. Your son is your child. He is not your valentine.

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