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Going through infertility? Use the New Year as a time of renewal

Let’s face it, the past year was not the most fun for you. You have gone through many perils, expenses and disappointments during your infertility journey. New Year’s Eve is a time to, in Taylor Swift’s words, shake it off.

The holiday is the perfect time to leave the past year of shattered hopes behind and focus on a fresh start. There are many mini-rituals you can do to heal, renew and celebrate the New Year in a way that aids your fertility journey.

Cast aside the past year

With your spouse or anyone else who has been close to you during the past year of infertility struggles, start the day by casting aside the past year. Write down all of your disappointments and struggles on pieces of paper and put them into a bowl. One by one, draw the paper out and read it aloud. Talk about your feelings and then tear the paper up to leave it behind you.

Make goals for the upcoming year

This is a practice many people do, like the traditional, “I will start going to the gym three times a week and lose 20 pounds.” Instead of these goals that are likely to be broken halfway through January, write down goals that relate to your fertility journey. Some examples include:

  • I will walk into every appointment with mindfulness and serene thoughts.
  • I will make time for myself after every piece of bad news.
  • I will focus on the blessings in my life through good and bad.
  • I will spend more quality time with my spouse and we will not talk about infertility during that time.

Get superstitious

It is always amazing to watch the world ring in the New Year and think of all the hopes and wishes each country has for the upcoming year. Why not take some of the world’s superstitious traditions and have some fun practicing them? There are many traditions around the world that are performed for renewal, luck, wishes and even fertility.

  • In Greece, they smash a pomegranate on the floor to reveal the seeds of prosperity and good fortune in the New Year. While you don’t have to do that, try eating the pomegranate on New Year’s Eve. The fruit is a symbol of regeneration, fertility and prosperity.
  • Grecians also turn off all the lights right before midnight to cast off the darkness of the past year. After midnight, the lights are turned on to cast light on the new.
  • In Russia, people write down their wish for the new year on a piece of paper. They then burn that piece of paper, put the ashes in a glass of Champagne and drink it. It’s pretty hardcore, but perhaps you can say your wishes aloud before drinking Champagne.
  • In Spain, it is good luck to eat 12 grapes at the stroke of midnight, one for each stroke. Interestingly enough, this tradition was started by vineyards who had excess grapes and wanted to encourage wine sales in the late 19th century. Still, it couldn’t hurt to eat 12 grapes for good luck!

Take advantage of the couple holiday

After you have cleansed yourself of the past year and started goals for the upcoming year, it is time to celebrate the opportunity the New Year presents. Luckily New Year’s Eve is considered more of a couple-centric holiday, so go out with all your couple friends to celebrate! Pick a party that is adults only, dress up and party your way into the New Year!

Regardless of what you have been through and your fears for the future, remember that New Year’s Eve is a time to celebrate optimism. You never know what the next year has in store for you. Use the holiday to rid yourself of all the negativity of the past year and get ready for better things to come in the New Year.

Bio: Nicole Witt is the creator of Beyond Infertility, a community support site and online magazine geared towards families who have gone through infertility. You can visit the website at She is also the owner of The Adoption Consultancy.

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