Call me crazy, but my husband and I actually chose to have our sons 16 months apart. We wanted to plow through the cumbersome baby stage. But the most common question that I get when wrangling two twin-like little boys on the street comes with an eyebrow raise and an implication: “Wow, you didn’t waste much time, did you?”
I’m not so vain to think that everyone I meet is judging my family. I know for a fact that the majority of people really don’t care how many times I got busy and then got knocked up. Truth be told, this is probably a subject that my close family and friends would hope to never hear about in detail.
But here they are — two adorable kids less than a year and a half apart. What was I thinking? Was it an accident? Was my second child an “oops”?
I don’t really find the term “oops” baby that offensive. Accidental pregnancies can, do and will happen, and then they will happen again. Pregnancy is great, and sometimes it’s not. A surprise pregnancy can be a shock, until you embrace it.
But my second son was not a surprise. My husband and I always said that we wanted to have three kids very close in age. It wasn’t until our first son came along, and we realized how hard parenting actually is, that we decided to whittle our list down to two. Still, this did not change our time frame at all.
Of course, my husband checked in with me when our first son was about 9 months old. Since I was the one facing nine more months of sweat, backaches and irritability, the option of when and even if we wanted to have another child was still up for debate.
But I’m a go-getter. I love my first son dearly, but I always knew that we wanted at least two children in the family. Why not throw caution to the wind and dive right into the baby years instead of spacing them out?
My husband and I both work at home, so you could say that this “bam, bam, bam” method of child rearing has worked well for us. You could also say that now there are four human beings, including two tantruming toddlers, living under one roof, and we are all going a little crazy.
But this is exactly what we signed up for. So, if you meet me on the street, I won’t be offended if you ask how far apart my sons are with a smirk on your face. Just know that I am not lying when I say that we planned it this way.