These rejected baby names will make you lose your faith in humanity (VIDEO)

Dec 8, 2014 at 9:00 p.m. ET

The only thing that makes us feel better about these prospective baby names is that they were all banned. If only bans could be applied to prospective parents, too.

I don't know about you guys, but given the mafia's prime goal seems to be to encourage fear of the mafia, if you were in the mafia, don't you think a kid named Mafia No Fear would be where you'd direct your energy in between other Tony Soprano-esque duties?

And a kid named Fish and Chips? Will that child have a chip on his shoulder for life? Yes. Has the idea made me hungry? Also yes. I guess I'll just give Dear Pineapple a call and see if she wants to come over and eat tropical fruit with me to stave off the hunger pains.

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