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10 Signs your kids rule your house

Are your kids the true little kings and queens of your castle? We share 10 funny signs that they probably do rule your house.

1. Netflix only suggests kids’ programs

Rather than allowing you to catch up on Mad Men and House of Cards like everyone else you know does or introducing you to other interesting series or movies, Netflix only suggests shows and movies your kids want to watch. That’s because whenever you’re watching Netflix, you’re watching with your kids — and watching what they want to watch.

2. You can never use your phone because your kids have it

Want to make a call or send a text? Too bad, because one of your kids is probably playing Candy Crush or trying to take a selfie while holding the cat.

3. Every surface is covered with toys

While at one time you tried (in vain) to implement a cleanup policy, now you just resign yourself to the fact that if you’re going to sit somewhere, then you will likely end up sitting on a toy or at least be surrounded by a few of them.

4. You can’t be alone anywhere (even in the bathroom)

Alone time? Not in your house. Even the bathroom isn’t sacred — they’ll find you no matter where you go. (Not that you’re trying to hide, right?)

5. Every picture on your phone is of your kids

At one time you took pictures of your pets or particularly Instagram-worthy restaurant meals. But now every photo features a kid. You can’t help it — they’re cute, and they’re always doing crazy things that need to be photographed.

6. Going to the movies means Disney

When the only Oscar-nominated films you can say you’ve seen are the animated ones, you’ve got kids — and any movie you see with them involves talking animals or animated creatures.

7. Your car is a mobile toy receptacle

The last time your car was clean, uncluttered and fit for passengers over the age of 9 was when you drove it off the lot. Now there are enough toys in every crevice of your car to stock at least a few shelves at a mid-size toy store.

8. Storage space is a distant memory

Before kids, there seemed to be a place for everything. Now, no matter how many storage solutions you come up with or boxes and baskets you buy, there never seems to be enough space to put things. It’s as if toys and kids’ clothes multiply while you’re not looking.

9. Free time is a myth you once remember hearing about

Free time is something you know must exist — you’ve heard people talk about it, and you’ve read about how to get more of it in magazine articles. But for you the words “free” and “time” don’t go together. Any alone time you get is when you’re in the bathroom (and only if you’re really lucky — see point 4), and any adult interaction you have is with cashiers at the grocery store.

10. Your purse is filled with snacks

Good luck finding your keys or a lipstick — your purse is now home to kid-friendly snacks and juice boxes. This is also why you long since gave up carrying a normal-size bag and now opt for the biggest purse you can find.

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