The rules to getting “mom drunk

“Mom drunk.” Even if you don’t know what it is, at some point in your years of parenting, you’ve probably been there. So let’s break the trend down for you — and pass along some tips that will help you do it safely.

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Definition

“Mom drunk” is, by definition, that time when you, as a mom, get drunk. It happens when your kids aren’t around and likely when you head out on the town with a few girlfriends for a night of much-needed respite. (Though obvi it’s way better to get away for the weekend so you can at the very least sleep off the hangover.)

The term cropped up after dads tried to claim they were the only ones who went out for a drinking good time with their buddies — a.k.a. “dad drunk.”

How to do it

Speaking from a completely unscientific place, we’ve noticed there are a few rules our friends follow when venturing into “mom drunk” territory. Those how-tos include the following:

Doing it in a safe place: Sure, it could be fun to get all drunk and wasted with friends in a bar à la your 20s, but the pain of stumbling around a jam-packed place with people you don’t know (and frankly don’t want to know) can be jarring. So skip large, public venues, and enjoy a drink or two in the comfort of a pal’s home. (Bonus: If you need to crash, you can stay at her place.)

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Drink water: When you were young, drinking water would probably harsh your buzz, but — ahem — you’re now an adult. And while it’s OK to go out and have a jolly old time drinking, it’s not all right to do it to excess. Alcohol poisoning is not fun, and a proven and safe way to stave off any stomach issues is to drink water — 1 cup for every alcoholic beverage you imbibe.

Eat some food: If you’re going to have a drink or two, why not eat some of your favourite snacks at the same time? Food helps your body process alcohol and, like your parents probably told you way back when, it’s never good to have a sip or two on an empty stomach. (Can you imagine what all that booze does to your liver?)

Prepare for your big night out: Just like you would prep your kids for a big adventure, so too should you get ready for your evening on the drinking train. Leave your car keys at home, take out extra cash for a taxi, save the phone numbers of cab companies in your phone, and let your significant other (or babysitter) know where you are in case you’re needed. Be smart about having your fun night on the town so you can actually have fun — and skip the worrying – when you’re out and about.

Go to bed at a reasonable hour: Once you’re drunk, your buzzed brain will probably convince you that it’s a good idea to stay out until the wee hours of the morning (“you’re having so much fun!”), but it’s not. You will still have to wake up the next morning to squeeze and love your little ones. So do yourself a favour, and help combat the hangover by getting to sleep at a decent time.

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