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14 Ways to keep the spark alive when you’re trying to conceive

Trying to conceive can turn sex and intimacy with your partner from fun to stressful pretty quickly, especially if you’re struggling to conceive. However, you can keep that spark alive between you and your partner, and it might even increase your chance of conceiving. All it takes is a little creativity and some effort on your part.

woman writing love note


Leave love notes

We all love knowing our loved one is thinking of us, so show him he’s in your thoughts. It can be as extravagant as a handwritten note or just a quick text message out of the blue to let your partner know you’re thinking of him.


Hold hands

Whether you’re out grocery shopping or at home watching a movie, the simple gesture of holding hands can help you feel more connected to each other. Holding hands can also build intimacy and let your partner know you want to be close to him even outside of your baby-making sessions.


Talk about your fears

The underlying stress from not being able to conceive can build up and even cause a rift between you and your partner, so don’t keep your concerns bottled up. Discuss your worries and stress about trying to conceive and life in general. Your partner might be better able to offer support if he knows how you are really feeling.


Connect outside of your fertile zone

When you’re trying to conceive, there are at least two to three days of the month when you should have sex, but make sure that’s not the only time you do. Having sex just to get a job done can lose its lustre quickly, but having sex just for fun will benefit both your relationship and your fertility.


Recreate your first date

If the pressure is starting to build up, stop focusing on conception, and start focusing on romance again. After all, sex isn’t just about creating a baby — it’s a way to connect and share your love. Spice things up by going back to a time when your sex life was more carefree.


Try something new

Anything from trying a new sex position to a new restaurant can help fan the flames in a relationship. Changing up the routine is always good for the romantic spark and can make the difference between a bright fire and fizzling flicker.


Get outside the bedroom

If you’ve been trying to make a baby for some time, you might be starting to feel like you’re in a rut. Start fresh by having sex outside of the bedroom. Being stuck in a routine can make your sex life feel more like a chore, so change things up to make it fun again.


Surprise each other

Surprise your partner with flowers, a movie he’s been wanting to see or a date he didn’t have to plan. Taking the initiative to do something sweet can help the two of you remember why you are trying so hard to make a baby in the first place.


Talk about things other than just kids

Without a doubt you and your partner probably have a lot of conversations about babies, trying to conceive and children in general if you already have some, but make sure you connect as a couple as well, not just as “Mom” and “Dad.”


Laugh often

Laughter, they say, is the best medicine, so make sure you and your partner take the time to laugh and appreciate the things in your life that might get overshadowed by the burden of fertility issues. There will be moments when it’s hard, but try your best to stay positive and grateful for what you do have.


Exercise together

Get your heart rate up and the adrenalin running through your veins with exercise. Exercising is a fun and healthy activity you can do with your partner without any pressure. In addition, exercise helps relieve stress, and both of you could likely benefit from that.


Date each other often

Even if you already have children or lead busy lives, date your partner — and often. It might sound silly, but that time spent reconnecting is important and should be a priority. To make sure you don’t forget or that they don’t get pushed aside, schedule in dates on your calendar.


Spice up your bedroom

If your love nest is boring, drab or in need of a design upgrade, now is a great time to refresh it. Changing the look of your bedroom with something as simple as a new bedspread or wall colour can have a big impact on how you feel in the space. Add candles, soft music and any other elements you have on hand to help set the mood.


Cook together

Have you heard the saying that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach? Even mundane things can be fun if you do them together. Try a new recipe, make your favourite dish or even have dessert for dinner. Relax, let loose and just enjoy spending time together.

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