How to have a happy marriage when you’re busy with kids

Let’s face it: marriage isn’t easy! It takes a lot of work, and adding kids to an already crazy list of priorities can not only compromise the relationship you have with yourself, it can also affect the one you share with your partner. Here are a few ways to avoid emotional distress after deciding to have kids.

married couple drinking coffee together

Talk to your partner

One of the most important things a couple can do after having children is to communicate… about everything. From how your day was to all the little things that aggravate or irritate you, it’s essential to keep the lines of discussion open with your spouse.

Create a calendar

It’s difficult to juggle everything that needs to get done on a daily basis (and that’s before you start packing your week full of little league games and homework). So sit down with your spouse to create a workflow schedule that suits both of your needs. Ensure there’s time for each of you to do some things you find personally satisfying or rewarding (whether that’s going for a run or taking a pottery class with friends). Also make sure there’s an equitable division of roles and responsibilities because if one person ends up doing everything, it could breed resentment.

Remember each other

As kids come along and their needs become top priority, it can be tough to remember what life was like before them. So take the time – every day – to show your spouse a little love. From doing something small like leaving a note in their briefcase or purse to a task that’s rather large such as cooking an elegant meal on a Wednesday, it will make your partner feel loved and special. Make it a priority to go on a date night at least once a month (if not twice). The happier you are as a couple, the happier your entire family will be.

Pick your battles

Everyone has different ideas about how children should be raised or the way the dishes should be done. So instead of fighting about everything, pick your battles. Is it really important for clean clothes to get folded right away? Probably not. The discussions or disagreements that really matter are the ones that impact the health and safety of you and your family. Save the “fighting” moments for when something is exceptionally important.

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