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10 Reasons Halloween might be canceled

Every year, without fail, someone has it out for Halloween. Now to be fair, some of these reasons for Halloween cancellation come out of left field. Others have a direct vendetta for this wonderfully spooky holiday. Christian parents, I’m looking at you.

I was raised in a strict Christian home, which meant that Halloween fun was real, real bad. Let me tell you that a harvest festival with Biblical costumes is no match for actual trick-or-treating. Yes, I’m bitter. In my unprofessional opinion, parents try way too hard to suck the fun out of Halloween.

Here are 10 ridiculous reasons Halloween may be canceled in your town this year: 

1. Religious parents

One New Jersey elementary school is waffling about the great evil that is Halloween. Administrators first planned to cancel Halloween because of a significant religious opt-out, but the celebration is back on again.

2. Polar bears

Polar bears ruin everything! One small town in North Canada plans to nix outdoor trick-or-treating due to potentially dangerous polar bears on the loose.

3. Mountain lions

If mountain lions aren’t scary, I don’t know what is. Halloween was rumored to be canceled in Turlock City, California, because of a rogue mountain lion. Good news for the kids — this news turned out to be a trick.

4. That damned Ebola

Everyone is freaking the funk out about Ebola, especially those in Dallas. Dallas metro authorities announced that Halloween was canceled because the risk was too great.

5. Manhunt

In a sad turn of events, Barrett Township of Pennsylvania was forced to cancel annual trick-or-treating as authorities search for the accused police killer Eric Frein.

6. Bitchy bosses

If you’re a grownup who wants to bring your child-like Halloween glee to the workplace, think again. Most grumpy bosses won’t allow office Halloween celebrations due to potential liability, related to religion, costume reimbursement and dress code adherence.

7. Pot

Colorado parents have a completely new Halloween fear to deal with: Denver police expressed concerns about children potentially receiving pot edibles while trick-or-treating. Halloween isn’t officially canceled in Colorful Colorado, but parents may skip trick-or-treating this year.

8. Allergies

As a parent of a child with allergies, I understand that food allergies can make Halloween truly scary. Some parents prefer to cancel trick-or-treating rather than risk food allergy flare-ups on Halloween.

9. Breaking dress code

Schools like Liberty High School in Middleton, New York, discourage dressing up in Halloween costumes because of potential dress code violations. Students aren’t happy and say the Halloween ban kills morale.

10. Fear mongering

Saxonburg, Pennsylvania, finally brought trick-or-treating back after a four-decade-long ban. The borough canceled outdoor trick-or-treating almost 40 years ago because of unfounded safety concerns after a tampered candy scare. This year, Saxonburg came to their senses and realized that hysteria was no reason to cancel Halloween.

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