Moms face a lot of judgment and scrutiny from other moms. We all have our sanctimommy moments and I think we can agree that there are times when we should be allowed to judge away — at moms who leave their babies in cars, moms who fill their newborn’s bottles with Mountain Dew and moms who pierce their infant son’s noses.
Yesterday Mommyish ran an article in their Anonymous Mom column where a mother posted that she had decided her baby son wasn’t interesting enough, or something, so she decided to bling him out by accessorizing him with a nose ring. I know lots of parents pierce their infant daughter’s ears, and even though I wouldn’t do that to my own daughter (mainly because I need something to bribe her with until she is older and can keep the holes clean by herself — I’m fond of saying I refuse to let any human pierce anything until they can put their own clothes in their hamper), I see nothing wrong with it. It’s not my jam, but ear piercings are also not anything I would judge another parent for doing.
Piercing another body part on an infant is a whole other story.
Not only are infants and toddlers notorious for being grabby little humans, but I cannot imagine dealing with a baby with a bad sinus infection and a nose piercing. Not to mention the fact that when this child grows up he may be none too pleased to have a piercing scar on his face. Babies cannot talk. They cannot let mommy know that maybe they don’t really want her to pierce their nose at home in some DIY procedure because, as the author states in the article, they want to do something cute and culturally unique and meaningful. I think that’s taking the idea of wanting your kid to be your own unique special little snowflake a bit too far.
Yeah, I’m totally judging this mom. She states that she lost friends, and other moms shunned her baby and that some people threatened to call CPS. I wouldn’t do anything like that but I sure as hell would give that mom the side eye. I don’t even like when I see a baby going out when the weather is cold without socks on! There are plenty of non-body-modification ways you can put your own personality onto your kid. Dress them how you want! Cut their hair how you want! Give them a unique name! But if you are considering putting a hole in their face so people know how cool you are, you should probably put down the needle and think about how your baby may feel about it when he is no longer a baby.
I have a nose ring scar from a piercing I got when I was a teenager and I hate it. I no longer like how I look wearing a nose piercing and I regret it. But I did it the right way, without my parents knowing and locked in my room and listening to The Cure and probably crying over some dumb boy. I’m pretty sure this baby should have made this same decision when he was far older and if he wanted to. Even though we technically own our kids, we give birth to them, we feed them and clothe them and clean up after them, we don’t own own them and we shouldn’t saddle them with our own desires to make them an extension of who we are or what we want others to think about us — and that’s what I feel the mom in this baby piercing scenario did.
But she doesn’t believe in circumcision.
Maybe next time she can do something a bit more normal, like just get her baby a tattoo.