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How to not be a jerk when sharing your pregnancy news

Sharing your pregnancy news for the first time may be one of the most exciting moments of your life. But before you jump the gun and pull the Facebook trigger to announce, take a beat. There are people in your life who may need the news broken delicately, like friends struggling with infertility.

Finding out you are pregnant is one thing, but telling friends and family is quite another. And if you are among the majority of people who have a Facebook account, then you are probably already well-versed in what it takes to announce your pregnancy in a social forum. You have to be clever. You have to be cute. An artistic shot of you and your partner holding a chalkboard with your baby’s due date in a field may or may not be required.

There are so many details to consider in your pregnancy announcement, who has time to think of anything else? If you don’t want your announcement to go over like a lead balloon, it helps to consider how it may affect your nearest and dearest for one big reason — infertility.

While you may not be infertile because you are so obviously pregnant (congratulations!), the CDC states that there are more than 6 million women in their reproductive years who have difficulty getting pregnant or carrying a baby to term. The number of married women from ages 15 to 44 who are infertile and unable to get pregnant after at least 12 consecutive months of trying has hit a staggering 1.5 million.

I am saying this because, while it was easy for me to get pregnant both times, I have more than one friend who has privately shared her infertility struggles with me. Some friends have had multiple miscarriages. Some friends have not been able to get pregnant at all, even after years of trying with the help of fertility drugs. Some relatives have health issues that caused serious strain on a full-term pregnancy.

This is not a Debbie Downer post to make you feel terrible about your pregnancy news. Pregnancy is a joyous time, and most people will be happy for you. You’ll probably get dozens, if not hundreds, of likes on your Facebook post. But if you know of any friends in your circle who are struggling to conceive, be sensitive before you announce. Call them up, send them a message or take them out to coffee to chat. You’ll be happy you cleared the air.

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