If you are looking for a male nanny, you should consider Idris Elba

Aug 12, 2014 at 11:30 a.m. ET
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Reliable, trustworthy and decent child care is hard to find. If you are a parent looking for a male nanny for your baby or child, you should probably consider Idris Elba.

You can look for a male nanny on Craigslist (which I wouldn't recommend), via word-of-mouth from other moms on the playground or through a nanny placement service, but I would strongly suggest forgoing all these traditional methods and simply hiring British actor, producer, singer, rapper and DJ Idris Elba to care for your child. Although I don't have Mr. Elba's credentials at hand, I'm pretty sure he would make an excellent male nanny to care for your child.

He has two children

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And from what I know, neither are criminals (one was born in 2014, so I have no evidence of a criminal record from this infant), so he obviously knows how to care for children.

He has been awarded four primetime Emmy nominations

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I don't know how this qualifies him to care for your child, but it sounds pretty important and it should therefore set your mind at ease: He would make an excellent babysitter.

He starred in the HBO series The Wire

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You may be wondering what this has to do with his potential as a male nanny, or "manny," but consider this: I technically have never watched The Wire. I know, I know, everyone loves The Wire and says it is the most brilliant television program ever made, and when people discover I have never watched it they usually yell at me, but whenever I attempt to watch the first episode of The Wire I fall asleep 23 minutes in. I have watched the first 23 minutes of The Wire approximately 67 times. This has convinced me that if you have a child who has difficulty falling asleep, Idris could simply play the first 23 minutes of the first episode of The Wire for them and bedtime would no longer be an issue.

He is a DJ under the moniker DJ Big Driis

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Every parent knows how important an early appreciation of music is, and considering Idris is a DJ, he could probably expose your child to music.

He seems like the type of manny who would carry in your groceries

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Imagine this: You are coming home from a long day of work and you have three bags of heavy groceries with you. I could totally imagine Idris being more than happy to help you with them. He looks strong.

It may be hot outside one day

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You may reside in a state where the temperatures rise in the summer and the weather gets quite hot. I'm not suggesting that Idris may engage in some water fight with your child that would end up in him removing his shirt due to the warm weather, or else wearing a T-shirt that is wet, but you never know. It could easily happen.

Hiring Idris would challenge the "hot young Swedish nanny" trope us moms are too familiar with

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In so many sitcoms and movies, most of us have been subjected to the attractive young female nanny or child care employee who usually has a foreign accent and men drool over. Hiring Idris would put this stereotype on its head and thus equal the playing field for hot male nannies everywhere.

If you are looking for child care, I would strongly suggest considering Idris Elba. Yes, he may be a bit busy with rumors of a Luther movie in the works, and there is always a chance we may finally get to see him in the role of James Bond, but it doesn't hurt to ask. If this doesn't work out for you, please let me know and we can consider my next choice for male nanny: Mr. Chris Hemsworth.

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