Can you please everyone?
The title of this blog entry is exactly the question of the day (or evening), and the short answer is...
No. There is no way you will ever be able to please everyone, but you can definitely please no one. I know, I know — that sounds polarizing. Is there a middle ground to this? Can we at least please half the people we'd like to? I think, and from what I know, the best thing we can do is aim to make ourselves happy and hope it works out.
I am definitely selfish, and those who know me are nodding their heads. However, that trait doesn't change the fact that I want those around me to be happy with me, to like me etc. As women, this is our nature and our instinct. We want to nurture and keep the group pleased. We don't want to confront each other, and frankly, that's because women suck at it. So we choose to sweep stuff under the rug, put on a smile and pretend everything is OK. Except sometimes, it isn't. Try as we may, women are affected by ill feelings.
At any given time, someone will not be happy with you, and whether you deserve it or not is beside the point. Some days, I feel like I can't do anything right. I can't go to dinner with a friend and make a networking event, so I have to choose. Or I miss a family event because of a prior obligation, or I go MIA from being in a relationship. It can feel never ending. For me, this comes from an innate desire to have everyone like me.
This all goes back to the sandbox — the same dynamics that existed way back when we were 5 years old exist now. There are people pleasers, queen bees and followers. But it's possible to change those roles, and when you realize that it is possible to not follow others but follow your own desires, dreams and beliefs to make yourself happy — then you will at least be able to please those who want the best for you.