How to use your inner psychic to find love

May 9, 2013 at 8:00 a.m. ET

When it comes to relationships, have you ever wished you were just a little bit psychic — if only to avoid boring blind dates or seemingly normal-turned-psycho ex-boyfriends?

Woman thinking about her relationship

Good news: With the advice below from a real-life psychic, you can harness your own sixth sense and use it to find the right guy for you.

We chatted with psychic Thomas John and asked him how we regular, non-Medium-type gals can tap into our psychic abilities and use them for better love lives.

"Everyone has psychic intuition and abilities," he told us. "For some, it comes easier than others. Just like playing the piano or playing a sport — some of us might be born with great abilities, and some of us have to work really hard to become great, but it doesn't mean one way is better than the other."

So how do you become "great" at trusting your instincts? Read on:


Go with your first reaction — you're often right

It sounds twisted, but when it comes to love, try to take the logical, cognitive part out of it and focus on what you feel.

"When I coach women in my psychic development courses, I teach them to rely less on logic and more on their gut instincts," John says. "Try and trust those gut reactions to things, but also, keep an eye out for where they might be wrong. For example, if someone seems like a great guy, but you meet him, and you just get a weird feeling he's a cheater, that's probably your intuition kicking in. Don't kick him to the curb, but within the first few dates, look for other cues or clues that might support your gut instincts."


But don't let your past color your present

Reaching for a convenient blanket statement or label to put on someone new is a mistake, even though it might seem like you're being smart and watching your back. That's not fair — and often not accurate.

"Intuition is not about basing your decisions off of things that have happened in your life, because that's more your logical, thinking mind kicking in," John says. "For example, if you dated a redhead before, and he cheated on you, if you go on a date years later with another redhead, and you get a weird feeling about him, that's probably just some sort of emotional transference, and not any sort of intuition."


If you're already dating someone, "read" your guy for clues about the relationship

Sometimes getting some extra insight is as simple as paying attention to the information your eyes and ears are giving you.

"Look for the ways that your guy communicates with you through body language, words and deeds," John says. "I have a friend who every time her boyfriend calls her, she looks at the phone with dread, and goes, 'Oh god, hold on, it's X.' That's probably not a great sign. However, once you get to know someone in the context of an intimate romantic relationship, it can be more difficult to tap into your intuition because you have certain emotions. It's important to really quiet your mind through meditation or yoga to get the most clear intuitive thoughts."


If you're still looking for a love match, key into "vibes"

Open-mindedness is key to finding love, but your gut can still be selective. That's that "intuition" thing again:

"When you are in large groups, talk to people who you feel guided to connect with," John says. "Try not to judge someone by their looks, but by the vibe or the feeling you get around them. Just like some places in the world give off a 'bad vibe,' so do people."


Think like a criminal investigator (really!)

Repeat after us: It's OK to be wary of people, especially if something seems off-kilter.

"What happens with women is that they get too caught up in the demands and expectations of society, and so they turn away from their gut reactions," John says. "For example, they meet a guy and have certain intuitive vibes about him, but because they feel like they are supposed to be married at a certain age or with a certain type of guy, they ignore their intuitive impressions. [In my classes,] one of the examples I use is a convicted murderer, but I use a picture of him where he looks happy. When people really tune in, they can feel that his vibe is a little strange and a little off. But when they judge it by the fact that he is smiling and in a park, they tend to just think he is a great guy."

Go forth, intuit and snag yourself someone right for you!

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