Women reveal what they wish they knew before marriage

Apr 19, 2013 at 8:00 a.m. ET

Ladies, let’s talk marriage. If there was something — anything — you could tell yourself about marriage before actually tying the knot, what would it be?

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As someone who genuinely loves being married, I will be the first to tell you that there are surprises along the way. Getting married is somewhat like having a child — you don’t really know what you’re getting yourself into until you actually do it (and yes, by then there’s no going back). We asked women just like you to reveal what they wish they knew before marriage — and the results may surprise you!

Ladies, what do you wish you knew before getting married?

  • “That marriage doesn’t solve your problems. Yes, I was told that going into marriage, but a part of me still believed that everything would be perfect once we tied the knot. I wish I knew that we’d still argue about the same things we did before marriage! Problems don’t just disappear.”
    - Sarah C.

  • “That my husband doesn’t really like the beach! We met and married in Florida, and before getting married we’d always go on dates to the beach (my favorite). Soon after the wedding, I learned my now-husband never really liked the beach and only went for me. Now he doesn’t go at all, haha!”
    - Cathi C.

  • “How God should be central to the relationship, and how it is not easy. Both parties will have to choose to work hard for their relationship every day of their lives.”
    - Michelle G.

  • “I wish I knew that my hubby would still expect sex a lot! I also wish I knew how hard it is to share time between my husband and the kids. Overall, though, I love being married!”
    - Angel A.

  • “I wish I knew more about his financial situation – how he managed money, what a big spender he is and how bad his debt really was.”
    - Christina M.

  • “I wish I knew that it was more work than I would have thought. You need to make time to talk to each other and spend time with each other…especially if you’re busy with work and kids. I think it’s very easy to get into this dull routine once you’re married, and I think it’s a lot of work to try to get it back to that time when you go on dates or just stay up talking.”
    - Michelle H.

  • “That marriage takes work every single day. It comes easy at first. You want to be together 24/7, have constant butterflies in your stomach and miss each other like crazy when you’re apart. That “obsessive” love does fade, though, and I wish I knew that going in!”
    - Amanda S.

And we even got an answer from a man…

“That it’s the little things that make a great marriage. I love coming home to my wife every night and having dinner together and spending our evenings together. I never knew how special the simple things in life could be.” – John B.

Did you know?

Men tend to view marriage more positively than women. Studies also show they benefit more from marriage and — get this — they like being committed and take it very seriously. Now that’s something we like hearing!

More on marriage

The secret to a happy relationship: Be selfish
How to reconnect with your partner
Juggling kids and romance

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