Remember how much you used to talk when you first started dating your partner or spouse? You likely used to discuss everything, often well into the wee hours. If you’ve found conversation to be lacking lately and limited to whose turn it is to do the dishes, we suggest adding (or resurrecting) the topics below to help strengthen your bond.
Goals — yours and his
What do you want to accomplish beyond the usual day-to-day things you need to cross off your to-do list? What about your husband? If it’s been years since you sat down and talked about what you would really love to do, now is the time to start opening up. Whether you’ve always wanted to run a marathon, get your pilot’s license, learn to speak French or finally finish writing that novel you started 10 years ago, share your big goals with your guy. The more you talk about what you want to do, the more likely it is to happen. Through talking about the goals you both have, you can motivate each other toward your biggest ambitions.
What scares you? What holds you back? What keeps you up at night? These are some intense but important topics to bring up with your significant other. Like discussing your goals can help you achieve them, talking about your fears can go a long way towards making them seem less significant. Not to mention, when you open up to each other in a way that makes you both vulnerable, you’ll see a huge increase in your overall bond.
Talking about the things that don’t work out is never easy, but it will help you move forward. Open up to your partner about the promotion you didn’t get, the fact that you haven’t been able to lose the five pounds you were hoping to drop by now or your softball team’s failure to make the semifinals — talking about disappointments has a way of making them hurt less and even motivates you to try again or try harder next time. When your guy opens up to you about the things that he’s disappointed in, you can help him move forward — it’s win-win.
Future plans as a couple
Beyond talking about your own personal goals, it’s helpful to talk about what you want to do as a couple, from the basic (paint the living room, overhaul the garden) to the major (take a three month trip to Europe, expand your family). It can be so easy to get caught up talking about day-to-day responsibilities (what to make for dinner, how to stop the dog from shredding the couch), that you forget to discuss the things that really matter — your future together and how to make the most of life.