Choosing Mr. Right not Mr. Right Now
We all have a type we typically are attracted to, and we call him our Mr. Right. But what if our Mr. Right is really our Mr. Right Now and not necessarily the guy who will give us our happily ever after?
What if our Mr. Right is actually the complete opposite of our Mr. Right Now? What if we let go of our type, and took a chance on someone we may have never noticed before? Take a look at how looking beyond your type can sometimes lead to more fulfilling and happy relationships.
It's true. We all have a type. Tall, dark and handsome. Blond, surfer and rugged. Sporty, tough and funny. Smart, successful and polished.
Whatever combo it may be, we tend to have a particular kind of guy we are drawn to. It may not even be a physical look so much as it may be the kind of guy they are.
For me, it was the guy who was in the spotlight. I was drawn to charismatic personalities who were often successful or at the very least attempting to be.
They were well-loved, well-known and they kind of seemed to know it. They were all about them, and naturally... so was I.
I got lost in them. I put myself aside, and shifted my focus onto them. And everything was good as long as it continued to be that way. I would give my heart and go all out to show them just how incredibly important they were to me.
Maybe it was that they already had enough of that in their lives, but for whatever reason, they never seemed to appreciate it or wanted to extend that kind of attention back to me.
I'd give, and give, and give.... and they would take, and take and take.
And this... was my type.
Whether tall or dark, sporty or surfer, musician or artist... they all seemed to have this one thing in common. And I wondered through all of this why I wasn't finding my Mr. Right. Instead I was spending all my time and giving all my emotions and heart to Mr. Right Now.
It wasn't until I suddenly lost my dad, and in a world of grief, I found myself in a vulnerable place. Suddenly, Mr. Right Now wasn't looking so good to me anymore.
I needed love. I needed support. I needed for once to have someone invest in me.
Sometimes it takes something big to change your perspective. And for me, going through the loss of a parent opened my eyes and especially my heart to see that there was another way.
It was then that I started to notice another type. The type that was sweet. The type that was sometimes quiet. The type that wasn't always needing to be in the spotlight. The type that put aside their hobbies in order to invest in their relationships.
And even more strange.... the particular guy I started to notice was a friend first. A friend I could be myself around. A friend I could burp in front of, spit gum out in front of, even cry in front of.
He also happened to be a friend who was my total opposite. I liked being in front of people; he liked being in the background. He liked reading books about math and physics; I preferred books about love and growth. He enjoyed working with numbers; I enjoyed working with words. He liked classical music; I wanted to perform show tunes.
But, there was one very important thing we had in common... and that was our love and admiration for each other. What we gave, was appreciated. What we did, was reciprocated.
There was respect. Love. Admiration. Commitment. And most importantly, unconditional love and friendship.
And 10 years later, I can say I am happily married and still madly in love with my best friend. Who once upon a time may have never been my Mr. Right Now but is now my absolutely Mr. Right.
Can't just take my word for it?
Here are just a few other examples of couples who found and are living their own version of happily ever after with their Mr. Right once they let go of their Mr. Right Now...
"I spent years in fear of dating a man like my father. The longer I held onto the 'Daddy issues,' the longer I found I was, in fact, dating men just like him. They were 'my type.' ICK. Once I forgave my Dad for what he wasn't and accepted him for what he was, I found myself in a relationship with a man who was unlike any man I had dated before. He takes me for exactly who I am and loves me for it. Actually, it turns out that he is just like my stepdad! A comparison I am totally happy with." -Lacey Willis
"I'm happily married to the only man I ever dated. I think much of our happiness comes from the fact that I heard about his family from my best friend, so I had preconceived ideas about this family. Those boys were weird! I couldn't stand them! So I was never trying to impress him. I was always myself. And as we made friends and eventually fell in love, I was always just me." -Ruth J. Leamy
"I'm not quite married yet, but I FINALLY got away from dating bad boys! I always had a thing for guys who were terrible to me, did terrible things and treated me like garbage. When I met my future husband, Andrew, he was nothing like them. I never felt like I had to be anything but myself to impress him and he always makes me feel good about myself. He doesn't put me down, do horrible things to 'get revenge' on me and he's supported me 100 percent no matter what I have wanted to do with my life. Most importantly, I know he's a good man because he was brought up in a home where relationships were taken seriously and so was being respectful to others!" -Amanda Miller
So maybe it's time. Time to say goodbye to Mr. Right Now and take a chance at finding your happily ever after. You'll thank us for it, we promise.