As wonderful as having children is, it can cause the level of romance in your marriage to take a nosedive. But all is not lost. We put together some simple relationship tips that will help you and your husband reconnect post-baby.
To learn more, we asked Dr. Paulette Sherman, licensed psychologist and author of Dating from the Inside Out: How to Use the Law of Attraction in Matters of the Heart, to share her top relationship tips for bringing back the romance after having a baby.
Implement date night
You may be parents, but you’re also still a couple, which is an important thing to remember. To help keep your relationship on track, try your best to have a date night once a week. “Get a babysitter and go out as a couple and have fun,” Sherman says. “This will remind you of how it was when you were dating.”
Once the baby is sleeping through the night (and in his or her own room), make sure to build in private quiet time at the end of the day to focus on each other and on being a couple, Sherman advises. “If you’d had a long day, then do something relaxing together like exchanging massages, taking a shower or bubble bath,” she says.
Start a romantic ritual
Sherman says her husband started rubbing lotion on her feet every night when she was pregnant, a ritual he continued after their child was born. Other couples have a glass of wine together, slow dance to a favorite song or watch certain shows as a way to feel closer. “Develop a bonding time or ritual away from your kids,” she says.
Once your child is older (old enough to be comfortably left with a grandparent or other family member), try to take a mini-break together each year as a couple, Sherman suggests. Go away for a romantic weekend alone for Valentine’s Day or your anniversary – or even for no reason at all. The time to yourselves will help you recharge and boost the romance.
Don’t discount romantic gestures
You may be spending most of your time lavishing attention on your new bundle of joy, but it’s still important to show each other some love. “Keep showing your spouse that they are special by surprising them with little romantic gestures like a card, a poem or flowers,” Sherman says. This will help keep you connected amid the chaos of having a new baby.