So you’ve been dating this guy for a while, and despite your every effort to the contrary, your mind has wandered to images of what your future children will look like and what kind of home you’ll have together. But each birthday, Christmas and Valentine’s Day rolls around without so much as a hint of a ring. Is he just waiting for exactly the right moment, or is he just not the marrying kind? Here are a few undeniable signs that your guy may never want to marry.
He comes right out and says so
If he says he never wants to get married, he probably means it. But time and again, women get involved with men who develop a rash at the mention of marriage. Look at George Clooney. He makes no apologies about not wanting to be married. One beautiful woman after another parades through his life, probably thinking she’ll be taking up residency in George’s Italian villa as Mrs. Clooney. But George isn’t sharing his Italian villa, or anything else a divorce attorney might fight for later. We could all speculate about George ending up old and alone with one of his domesticated pigs, and that it might serve him right, but the fact remains: He has declared himself a lifetime bachelor, and he hasn’t budged on that.
He’s all about the bromance
Guys want to play beer-pong, go bowling and sit around a TV yelling at athletes, coaches and refs who can’t hear them, in addition to a whole host of other activities that confuse women. And they want to do it together. (If you want to be in a relationship for more than three minutes, you better accept and embrace this reality.) The desire to hang with the boys is normal for most men. However, that is ALL some men want to do. (You can spot these guys in a bar. They usually wear shirts three sizes too small for them, use the word “dude” a little too often and probably have an arm-band tattoo of some sort.) If you are constantly being pushed aside for “Boy’s Night Out,” or if his posse is present every time you are together, then he may have a Peter Pan complex. This means he lacks the maturity to step away from the video games long enough to spend time with his significant other. This type of guy is pretty self-indulgent, so not only are you probably not headed to the altar, you should accept that on his list of top 10 priorities, you probably come in somewhere around 37. Save yourself a lot of grief and move on from this oaf as soon as possible.
He’s a work-a-holic or hobby-a-holic
For some reason, certain men place work and/or hobbies above mates. These men are called jerks. Okay, that’s a bit harsh. Life does, however, sometimes pass these guys by. One morning they wake up shocked to realize their hair is gone, the kids they never had don’t call or write and their evenings are spent curled up with a mangy cat watching Murder She Wrote re-runs. You can fritter your life away hoping this guy will get his priorities straight, or you can realize early on that you’re never going to be on a tropical honeymoon with this guy.
He’s been married before
How much fun is it to be left holding the bag for the she-devil who came before you? She worked your guy like a cheap blender in an old folks’ home and now you’ve got to make up for it! This can be exhausting. If you’re a rabid rescuer, you’ll work yourself silly trying to make up for someone else’s mistakes. Don’t be shocked if Mr.-Kicked-in-the-Chops is in no real hurry to get remarried, no matter how awesome you treat him.
His parents are divorced
Since about 75 percent of men come from broken homes, this can be an alarming suggestion, but don’t panic just yet. Some guys’ intelligence surpasses that of their parents at a very young age and he may be determined to have a more successful marriage than his parents. Others, however, will be scarred for life. They may be thinking, “Wow, as much fun as my childhood was, I’m not in a big hurry to live that out again!” Here’s how you can tell the difference. If he bolts as if he’s about to be trapped in a house fire when you bring it up, he’s not ready to marry. If he can talk about it without stuttering or staring off into space, you might have half a chance of being called “wife” someday.
Has a guy told you he doesn’t want to get married and then asked you to marry him?