We share a lot of advice about how to get a guy to notice you and keep him interested, but we figured it might also be worthwhile to touch on some of the things that seem to scare a lot of men. Check out our list of the top five things that can set a guy on edge faster than asking him if he wants to spend the day shopping for shoes.
Saying “we need to talk”
Those four little words can send even the most self assured guy into a tailspin. Whether you’ve been in a relationship for years or you’re dating someone new, uttering those words seems to strike fear in the hearts of many men. Even if you only want to talk about why he’s always late or that you think it’s time to stop spending so much and start saving money, those words indicate something is going to change – a scary thought for any guy who likes things just the way they are. When he hears you say “we need to talk,” he knows he’s either in trouble, going to have to make a big decision or going to have to do something he doesn’t want to do.
Using the L word too soon
Even if you really are feeling like what you have could be love, if you’re three dates in, don’t say it. Let him know you like him and that spending time together is fun, but uttering the l-word too soon could scare him off. Instead of leaping into “I love you” mode, wait until you’re firmly planted in committed or exclusive territory versus letting it slip while things are still very fresh. We don’t want you to stifle your feelings or act aloof, but laying all your cards on the table too soon can often backfire – not something you want to have happen if things were going well.
Talking about babies or marriage
When you’re dating someone and you make mention of marriage or babies (or names you have picked out for said babies), you could end up spooking your new guy. If you’ve been together for years, these subjects have probably come up or if they do, then they shouldn’t necessarily send your man running. On the other hand, if you’ve only just started dating someone, marriage or baby-talk can act like relationship kryptonite. Slow down. No one wants to feel like they’re locked down immediately after the fourth date, so trying to bring up such serious topics too early could prove to be a disaster.
Constant calls and texts
Some guys like to feel like you want them or need them all the time, but a lot of other guys get scared off by a daily barrage of texts, calls or Facebook messages. Keep your communication to a minimum so you don’t come off as a stalker. You don’t want him to think you have no one else to talk to or no friends. If you have something of substance to say (finalizing a meeting time, asking a question about where you’re meeting later), then get in touch, but continually sending him meaningless messages could push him away.
Jealousy can be a huge turn off, especially if it’s not warranted. Getting all bent out of shape over simply seeing your new guy in the presence of another female can make you seem insecure and a little bit crazy. Giving someone new the benefit of the doubt will help foster trust, whereas going off the deep end and causing a scene every time you think he’s looking in the direction of another girl will just frustrate him and could scare him enough to send him packing.