How to reconnect with your partner

May 4, 2011 at 6:36 p.m. ET

If you feel yourself drifting apart from your spouse or partner, it doesn't necessarily mean that it's time to break up. To rescue your relationship, take these steps to reconnect once again.

Couple in bed

1Figure out what's bothering you

Before trying to mend your relationship, you need to figure out what's broken. Sit down with pen and paper in hand and write out your feelings and concerns about your relationship. Is your husband working too much? Are you not having enough sex? By identifying your concerns, you'll be able to create a game plan to tackle your problems.

2Approach the situation positively

Instead of yelling at your partner about not going out enough or other issues, take a positive approach. Talk with your partner about what you love about your relationship and what's working for you (in and out of the bedroom). Once the dialogue is flowing, you can start to address the things that need attention.

Learn how to communicate better with your partner >>

3Don't play the blame game

Don't say, "You never want to cuddle." Instead say, "I feel like I need more cuddling." Avoid blaming your partner or making ultimatums about what you want to happen.

4Go on a date

Remember when you first met and spent a lot of quality time together? Get back to basics by going out on date. Spending time alone together doing something you enjoy can be just what you need to reconnect and get your relationship back on track. Even if you both work and have kids, as well as other commitments, you can commit to each other with date night once or twice a month.

Try these date night ideas >>

5Get naked

If you want more sex in your life, spend more time naked. Skip the pajamas or nightgown and come to bed naked every night. The sensual experience of your naked body against his will inevitably lead to more sex. Take things slow and enjoy the foreplay instead of jumping right into the main act.

6Try something new

Take a class together, go on a weekend away together or try a new position in the bedroom. Trying something new in your relationship will make it feel fresh again, even if you have been together for years.

Experiment with these sex positions for mind-blowing orgasms >>

7Do things to boost your self-confidence

Many times when we drift away from our partners, it's because we don't feel good about ourselves. Boost your self-confidence by looking good and feeling good about yourself. Exercise regularly, eat right and learn to love your body. We all have flaws, but instead of dwelling on them, concentrate on all your positive attributes. By doing things to feel good about yourself and boost your self-esteem, you'll project a more positive outlook and be more desirable to your partner.

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