We’ve all been in relationships where we’re almost 100 percent sure it’s time to end things. It’s that nagging 1 percent that keeps us in love limbo. If you have the inclination to break up, it’s probably warranted, but hesitation and fleeting regret are understandable. Here are a few strategies for dealing with post-breakup remorse.
Look ahead — not back.
You weren’t happy in your relationship, so you pulled the plug, and now you’re second-guessing your decision. Before you go begging him to take you back, take a look at the new opportunities for growth that lie ahead of you. If you’d been thinking about ending things for a while, your misgivings are probably just a case of breakup remorse. Rather than dwelling on the past and focusing on the good times you had during the happier part of your relationship, get excited for the fresh start you’ve created for yourself.
Get rid of reminders.
Ditch anything that makes you think about your ex, especially if you’re having pangs of regret. If you know deep down that you made the right decision, just get through the initial rough patch and you’ll be fine. Even things like sheets (get new ones), foods (switch brands of orange juice) and music (definitely don’t listen to “your song” right after you dump him) are emotional triggers best avoided.
Remember why you were unhappy.
Over-romanticizing your relationship will just make you feel worse. Rather than trick yourself into thinking you just ended things with the perfect guy, remember why you wanted to break up with him in the first place. Chances are the reality (that you just didn’t love him anymore) far outweighs any happy memories you might be conjuring up.