We say a lot of regrettable things in the heat of an argument or when we’re feeling frustrated, but certain things are much more hurtful than others — and cause more trouble than they’re worth. Here are four things you should avoid saying in your relationship, even if you’re really angry.
We never do anything fun anymore.
This statement implies that your unhappiness and boredom is his fault, which really isn’t fair. If you want to go out or plan a trip, you’re more than capable of taking action. A relationship rut is rarely one person’s fault; it takes two to let the excitement slip away. Rather than making him feel like he’s failed in some way, discuss the fact that you think it’s time the two of you did something fun together. Go out to dinner and talk about some things you can do to spice up the relationship. Plan a vacation, take a road trip or incorporate some new activities into your weekend plans.
If you loved me, you would.
This is a manipulative move that puts your partner on the spot. Chances are there’s a lot more to the situation than whether he loves you, but giving him an ultimatum leaves very little room for discussion. No one in a relationship should feel pressured to make split decisions or do uncomfortable things. Don’t do this to your man just to get your way.
Your mom/sister/aunt is crazy.
Even if his mom drives you nuts or his aunt’s nagging makes you want to throw yourself off a bridge, keep your feelings about his family to yourself. He may think the same thing, but only he is allowed to comment. Think about how you would feel if he insulted your mother: You probably wouldn’t be impressed. Rather than start a fight about the woman who brought him into this world, just stay quiet. It’s better than saying something you can’t take back.
Your friends are idiots.
His friends might indeed be idiots, but they’re his friends, and he loves them. Some playful teasing is fine, but offending people he holds in high regard could make him justifiably upset. You don’t have to hang out with all of the people he does, so just don’t spend time with the people who bother you.