How to deal when you hate your BFF's boyfriend

Jan 28, 2011 at 12:52 p.m. ET

Your best friend has a new boyfriend. How fabulous...or is it? You can’t love everyone, and if the next person that puts you in a perpetual bad mood happens to be your best friend’s new guy, here are some simple survival tactics for dealing with a potentially uncomfortable situation.

Two girlfriends talking over coffee.

Don't disappear

You don't have to hang around with the two of them 24/7, but you also can't disappear until she comes to her senses and ditches the jerk. First of all, it will be way too obvious if you go missing just as she starts dating, and secondly, she's still your friend and though her taste in guys may not match yours, you should still be around to offer support – especially if you turn out to be right about him.

Be subtle

When you do end up places where your friend's new beau happens to also be, try to be subtle about your negative feelings towards him. Don't treat him poorly or make constant snide remarks to her about how much better you think she can do in the dating department. While things are new, keep your comments to yourself (or bitch over brunch with your other BFFs).

Give him a chance

Who knows, maybe he's just shy but comes off as cold or hard to handle. Or maybe you just need to get to know him to discover his good side. Either way, if you get a bad feeling about him, chances are your instincts could be right, but before you beg your BFF to break it off, give him a chance to prove you wrong.

Monitor the situation

Before you can try and convince your friend to head for the hills, you'll need something to back up your gut feeling with. So observe how he acts towards her, monitor how he treats her and once you've noticed enough bad behaviour (that she's missed because she's smitten) you can start subtly dropping hints about how you feel.

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