If you have gone through a divorce or major breakup, you should take time to heal and self-reflect before diving into the dating scene. So how do you know when you are ready? We talked to HerWay.com’s Dating and Relationship Expert, DeAnna Lorraine to find out how to recognize the signs that you’re ready to start dating again.
You should wait at least six months before you begin getting into another committed relationship. Start dating casually first before you commit to one person again.
Signs you are ready to start dating
You’ve stopped obsessing on the past
When you’re not thinking obsessively about your ex anymore, or thinking about “what could have been,” then you are probably ready to move on.
You aren’t mad anymore
If you’re no longer angry and bitter toward your ex, and no longer hoping or longing for him/her, then it’s a good sign you have healed and are ready to open up to a new person. If an image of your ex brings up neutral feelings and you can think about your relationship as a good experience that you have learned from, then you are in a good place. If thinking about your ex brings up anger, sadness and grief, you probably have more healing to do.
You are noticing other men
When you’re starting to notice guys around you while you’re out and about, it means your dating “cab-light” is turned back on again and you’re opening yourself up again to the possibilities! When you’re starting to feel attraction toward guys at work or other places, or you start developing a crush on someone — it’s a sign that you’re ready.
You are at peace alone
If you’re open to dating but at peace with being alone and genuinely enjoying your life at the present state, then you’re in a good place to start dating again. You’re taking this time to learn, grow and develop, get back in touch with yourself and your interests as a single person, and establish a full and happy life on your own again. You aren’t feeling the need to jump into a new relationship out of desperation or a need to complete you.
Signs you are not ready
You talk about your ex constantly on a date
If you go out on a date with someone and you find yourself talking about your ex or the relationship a lot, or you feel queasy and uncomfortable even being on the date, then you’re probably not ready to start dating yet. If you go on the date and feel confident, excited and are genuinely open to the possibilities, then you’re ready.
You want to dive-in quickly
If you’re looking to find someone as quickly as possible as either a sexual or emotional replacement out of desperation or loneliness, then you’re not ready to start dating yet. If you’re not looking for a rebound relationship or someone to replace your old partner, then you’re probably in a good place.