Despite what daytime dramas and romance novels might tell us, not everyone is in the mood for sex all the time. In fact, when you factor in pressure at work, keeping the house clean, hitting the gym and with every other daily responsibility, sex is probably the last thing on your mind. If you find yourself less eager to slide between the sheets with your significant other, you’re not alone. That’s why we’ve put together six simple ways to help get you in the mood.
Schedule a date night
Just knowing that there’s a night set aside just for the two of you can be enough to build up some excitement and anticipation. Getting in the mood for sex can be tough when you barely have enough time to have a shower, let alone get physical, but if you know that Friday night is your night (hire a babysitter if you have kids), then you’re more likely to be in the mood by week’s end.
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Try something new – together
Being in a long term, committed relationship has many benefits, but getting into a rut isn’t one of them. The longer you’re together, the easier it can become to get sucked into a routine. Get up, go to work, come home, have dinner, watch TV and go to bed. Boring! Of course you’re not in the mood for sex. To spice things up (and get revved up), try something new together. From swing dancing to rock climbing there’s bound to be something that interests both of you.
There are so many digital distractions that can stand in the way of intimacy. Between checking your Blackberry for office emails to watching TV to texting your BFF to surfing the net, the more time you spend in front of a screen, the less you’ll be in the mood for sex. Getting in the mood has a lot to do with your brain and literally psyching yourself up for a good time, but being distracted by incoming messages is a sure mood-killer. Unplug (turn off the TV, hide your Blackberry, put the laptop under the couch). Do whatever you need to do to make some time for getting in the mood.
Sex doesn’t have to be serious. In fact, it probably shouldn’t be. Have a wrestling match, get in a tickle fight, chase each other around the bedroom. Sure, it may sound childish (and it is), but chances are, it will make you laugh and laughter is a str ess reliever. You’ll have a much better chance of getting in the mood if you you’re relaxed and giggling rather than stressed out and angry.
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Revisit the past
Remember how easy it was to get in the mood when you first started dating? You probably barely made it to the bedroom most of the time. Think about how you used to act around each other and the things you used to do together when the relationship was fresh. Recreate some of your first dates, light candles when you have dinner, slow dance in the living room to “your” song. Do whatever it takes to rekindle the spark that clearly was there at the start. The effort you both put in at the beginning can fade when you move in together or get married, but you don’t have to abandon it.
Just do it
This one may seem obvious, but sometimes just going for it will get you in the mood. Don’t over think things, just jump in the sack and see what happens. Even if you feel stressed and not into it at the beginning, you just might find yourself having fun and loosening up as you go.
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SheKnows gives you the scoop on how to put the spark back into your relationship.