Sex on the brain, can’t keep it in their pants, men are just cheatin’ fools. That’s our stereotype, isn’t it? That men are only interested in one thing, and when they’re not getting enough of it, or not getting it in the way they want, they stray. That may be true for some. But for most guys, infidelity is spurred not by a lack of sex, but by a lack of attention and appreciation.
How to fight infidelity
Does that mean you shouldn’t pay attention to and nurture your sex life with your man? Of course not. Good sexual relations are important to a strong marriage. Of course, what defines “good” for one couple may be very different from what’s “good” for another. You know when things are good in your bedroom.
Your secret weapons against his infidelity, however, aren’t position number 23 or kinky things to do with chocolate. They are attention and appreciation.
Fight infidelity with Attention
Attention means not taking him for granted. Attention means you greet him with warmth and a hug when you or he come home at the end of the day. Attention means stepping away from reality TV, Facebook or your cell to really take in what he’s doing — and share and respond appropriately. You don’t just go “Uh-huh” in that voice that means, “Yeah, OK, I recognize sound, but I couldn’t care less about what you’re saying.”
And then there’s the biggie: Appreciation. Workplace affairs are all about some co-worker appreciating your man’s day-to-day, the ordinary stuff of his 24/7 life. Stuff by which you have long since become bored and don’t stop to praise.
Fight infidelity with Appreciation
Appreciation is much more than thanking your guy for doing something nice for you. It’s thanking him for doing things that are expected and routine, such as taking out the trash, or handing you that cup of coffee. Appreciation is encouraging and supporting his efforts at work, his hobbies and his goals.
Appreciation is reminding him of those things you love about him: His smile, his sense of humor, his gentleness with the kids. Appreciation is letting him know that you see what he is and does in the world. It’s noticing how the new neighbor comes to him for advice, and how generously he gives it.
Stay awake to the worth of your man, and let him know you see it and admire it. You couldn’t ask for finer secret weapons.