How to find a good man online
Anyone can date online. And while I like to believe that online dating is the best way to meet someone (yes, I met my current boyfriend on Match.com), there are some wackos on the Internet. Even I've been on a handful of dates with freaks-one guy ate my meal, another man exposed himself, and there was even one man who probably was more into other men than me.
So how do you land the good ones? I rounded up some tips from successful online daters to help you weed through the wackos.
Five Pictures or More
"I've been out on a handful of dates with men who looked nothing like their photo," explains Ruth, who's still searching for her one and only love. "Either the picture was taken years ago or it wasn't them at all. Beware, ladies." It suddenly dawned on Ruth to only consider men who had more than five photos uploaded. That way, she can ask, "When was this taken?"
Taking the photo research even further, Ruth sometimes checks social networking sites like MySpace.com and Facebook.com to verify such photos. "I know it's not just about looks, but I think if someone is lying about what they look like, they're deceiving you and how can you trust that?" she points out. "It's so not fair to pretend you're someone you're not. I don't want a guy who's not happy with what he looks like."
The facts are as plain as day. Some men might say too little, which should cause you to worry. What's he hiding? If he wrote enough to give you an idea of the type of person that he is, then you owe it to him (and yourself) to read it.
From his "about me" to "what he's looking for," don't just skim. "Read between the lines," advises Kim, who's met her match on eHarmony.com. "You don't want to waste your time with someone who doesn't really match with you." So many online daters end up going on disastrous dates, not realizing they have opposing viewpoints with their pick. What results is awkwardness or worse. Daters' details are posted for a reason--take them seriously.
If He's Too Good to Be True...
...he probably is! "No one can be that perfect," says Ruth. "Guys who appear to be too good to be true are usually putting up a front." Men will lie to get you to like them. Why? To get you into bed, to find companionship, to avoid rejection--the reasons are endless.
It's your job to be cautious. Don't take every man for face value. What he might say on his profile (or in person, for that matter) still has to be verified by his actions. You can only do that by spending more time with someone. "That's what dating is--duh," Ruth attests. "If you're falling head over heels for someone who you just met, I wish you luck."
Keep Your Options Open
If you find an awesome guy online and you believe him to be just perfect for you, keep your options open. Don't jump in until you know he's all about you, too. Before you have the "exclusive talk," you owe it to yourself to be open to other possibilities. You never know—this relationship might fall through.
Ruth canceled her online dating membership when she thought she found the greatest guy. When she was mistaken, she had to sign back up again. "It was such a hassle," she says. "I've learned my lesson."