The difference between dating a cute, underemployed artist/actor/musician type and a cute, underemployed freeloader can be hard to distinguish. Is your man in a permanent slump? Here are four signs to watch out for and how to take control of the situation.
Sign #1: He’s Always Broke
Deadbeat boyfriends are notorious for having a million excuses about why they are constantly broke. The economy is bad, his former boss was a jerk, he’s waiting for the check to come in, etc. What they don’t have, however, is a plan to turn their financial situation around.
Sign #2: He’s Lazy
Do you leave the house in the morning while he’s still under the covers and come home to find him parked on the couch? If he’s always on Facebook, playing video games, or even if it’s just a small thing like not replacing the empty toilet paper roll when it’s out, laziness and a supreme lack of motivation are definite signs of deadbeat behavior.
Sign #3: He’s Erratic
You may love that he is a nonconformist, but if the guy you’re dating continually demonstrates shady tendencies, like disappearing for days, binge drinking, or staying out all night and refusing to tell you where he’s been, consider yourself warned.
Sign #4: He Lets You Support Him
No matter how affectionate he is, do not allow your boyfriend to live with you and not pay at least half of the rent and shared expenses. Likewise, no self-respecting man would let his girlfriend always take him out to dinner without ever reciprocating. If your boyfriend allows you to support him or needs your help to accomplish even the most mundane of tasks, he might be classic DBB.
So what do you do?
First, stop spending money on him and doing anything that he would otherwise have to pay someone to do. You may think that you’re helping, but, in the long run, by allowing him to mooch off of you (both financially and emotionally), you are simply enabling his behavior and giving him no reason to change. Instead, talk to him about how you feel and be firm that you are uncomfortable dating (or living with) someone that is unemployed (or broke or lazy.) Hopefully, if he has any sense, this should be enough to motivate him. However, if not, put him to work around the house and let him work off his share of responsibilities by playing a role that women have played for decades, that of the housewife. If you don’t decide to break-up, at the very least, you will have someone to cook you dinner and sign for your Ebay packages!