7 first date mistakes
Thought your date with Dreamy McDreamerson went smashingly? Then you waited by the phone for two weeks for the promised call that never came. No date two for you? Wondering what happened?
We can pretty much guarantee that he wasn't hit by a bus on his way home, or that his PDA fell into a river causing him to lose both your phone number and email address. No, we're guessing not. Now, we would never suggest that every date disappearing act ever pulled on you is your fault... but perhaps you might want to take a gander at this list of seven common first date faux pas and see if you can avoid them next time.
- Don't let the conversation get too emotionally deep. Maybe your father really didn't hug you enough. No need to wail about it now. There's no crying in baseball or on first dates.
- Can the bragging. Being proud of your accomplishments is one thing. Two hours' worth of name-dropping is quite another. You can tell your date that you chaired that big corporate fundraiser without yapping that your drove there in your late-model Mercedes, wearing a new Valentino, and sat next to Bono.
- But don't be too self-deprecating, either. On the other end of the spectrum is the girl who can't say a nice thing about herself or accept a compliment gracefully. Making too many remarks about your clumsiness, lack of education or lazy personality accomplishes two things: it clues your date in on your worst habits, and shows a huge amount of insecurity. If you need to work those issues out then do so -- just not with your date.
- Save the ex talk for a later date. It's okay to briefly mention that you've been married before, or how long ago your last relationship ended, but change the subject and do not dwell on it. Talking trash about your exes makes your date wonder how you'll be talking about him someday, and whether or not you are truly over that person.
- Don't be indecisive. While it's no good to be bossy or constantly contrary, when your date asks for your opinion, give it! "I don't know" or "Whatever you want" send the message that you're a wet rag -- and you and I both know that's a lie.
- Don't just talk about yourself. Even if "me, myself & I" is your favorite subject, be sure that you not only allow him a chance to speak, but you ask about his thoughts and experiences, too. He's probably as interested in sharing as you are, but is too polite to butt in.
- Show up on time. No matter if you're always late to everything, that's no excuse for not being punctual on this one occasion. First impressions, remember. Showing up even a few minutes late telegraphs a lack of interest -- but arriving early conveys the opposite. Do what you have to do (use an alarm, set your clock 15 minutes ahead, or pretend that the date is 10-15 minutes earlier) to be there on time. Another plus: It will be one less thing you need to stress out about!