Most of us have found ourselves at one time or another lying in bed next to a partner after sex and finding ourselves talking about the strangest, most personal things. It turns out that pillow talk — and spilling our guts after steamy sex — is not only a pretty common experience, but also, according to a new study, one that we’re biologically wired to do.
A new study published in Personality and Psychology Bulletin and shared in Science of Relationships sheds new light on our post-coital urge to unlock our deep secrets and say things we might not otherwise say. The researchers looked at a collection of studies that compared how much people were willing to reveal in conversation with strangers after being exposed to sexual or non-sexual stimuli.
In two of the studies, participants were shown sexual images/videos or neutral images/videos. Afterward, they were asked to share a personal or embarrassing story with someone of the opposite gender. The researchers found that even thinking about sex made people more likely to reveal something personal. Yes, you read that correctly — simply thinking about sex can actually prompt us to get super-personal with our thoughts and emotions.
In the third study, couples watched sex videos or intimate videos (that didn’t involve intercourse), and then were asked to share personal stories with someone of the opposite gender. People who watched more openly sexual videos were likelier overshare and likelier to pursue a relationship with the person they were talking to than people who simply watched the intimate non-sex videos. Wow.
Overall, thinking about sex and especially being sexually interested in someone will seriously up your odds of spilling your guts. So, uh, avoid reliving your morning quickie when you’re in a meeting with your boss (especially if you find your boss cute) because you might just blurt out something that’s total TMI.