Whether you are just meeting someone new for the first time off a dating website or app or going on a date with someone you already know, the goal is to be asked on another date. But there are many ways that you can improve or dash your odds. Remember that movie, ‘How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days?’ I myself have found some really good ways to squash the next date. Here’s a few ways I’ve managed to completely ruin a date and laugh at myself anyway.
1. Be tactful, not awkward
One date I had brought me store-bought rainbow colored daisies in cellophane iridescent wrap. Upon receiving it, the wrapping made loud crumbling noises because of the cellophane and we were in a parking structure so it echoed strongly. The first thought in my head was, ‘Wow that’s a loud noise’ and ‘Why did I think that leaving with a stranger in a parking structure was a good idea? Sorry mom.’
“I didn’t know grocery stores dye daisies to be blue, thank you,” I said.
Oops. I never saw him again.
2. On the first date, keep it light in conversation. Any words that involve the following, marriage, love, children, future, joint accounts, commitment, or relationship should be avoided at all costs.
Seems like vegetarian (too picky), almond milk (elitist), and gluten-free (high maintenance) are even worse. Words in my vocabulary with the highest usage? Vegetarian, almond milk, gluten-free and joint accounts.
3. If you can’t think of a good topic to discuss on your date, don’t bring up the weather to fill awkward silence.
I become a meteorologist nine times out of ten times on dates. So far not a lot of luck in love when I debate dry heat versus humidity.
4. Don’t mention to your new date that your mom is your best friend.
It’s not exactly rare that I tell guys I talk to my mom twelve times a day. Uh, but don’t pass that on.
5. If you need material for you comedy class, don’t reveal to your date that they are the material.
Done that, check.
6. Exit gracefully
After I accidentally told my date I’d be calling my mom immediately after I left, I did not have time to sit around with that awkward, “I had fun let’s try this again” business. I was rushed and walked straight through the rocks and shrubs to get to my car in high heel wedges. I think he walked around watching the debacle. He never called and didn’t offer to help me out of the messy shrubs, either.
In all seriousness the tip that will get you another date is actually to be yourself (it is the only way to be) and that is what I follow for myself as well. Some of the best ways to handle difficult dating is to have a sense of humor. Comedy is a great coping tool in general.
Jodi Rubin is the author of Click or Swipe Your Way to Love.