Getting drunk together may improve your marriage tonight

Jul 20, 2016 at 12:29 p.m. ET
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Drinking is bad for you. It alters the brain function and generally makes you feel like poop, especially the next morning. But it can also save your marriage. At least according to a new study.

The study appears in the Journals of Gerontology B: Psychology Sciences. Close to 3,000 couples who were married an average of 33 years reported that regularly getting drunk together helped make them happier.

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Here, of course, is the part where we need a disclaimer. We aren't talking about alcoholics. Or people who drink alone. Or problematic drinking. The study seems to suggest that couples with similar drinking habits fare best. As in: Those who abstain are just as happy as those who drink together.

“We’re not suggesting that people should drink more or change the way they drink,?" Dr. Kira Birditt, a researcher with the University of Michigan who authored the study, told Reuters.

That said, as a woman whose been married 13 years, I will say my marriage is always stronger when we are drinking more. I know, I know. It's terrible marriage advice and not everyone can handle drinking and still be healthy.happy. But when my husband and I drink a couple bottles of beer or glasses of wine or a margarita or two, we always have fun together. We laugh more. We fight less. And it makes a lot of sense.

Alcohol softens the edges. When I have had a drink of two, I don't notice the dishes. Or the fact that my husband is late. I don't think the kids are quite so annoying and I find their quirks a little sillier. I have a better sense of humor and a softer sense of time an schedule. If alcohol had less calories and made me feel good in the morning, I'd find it quite magical. Sadly, neither of those things is true.

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What we really need to do as couples is to be "drunk" without the alcohol. Pay less attention to the dishes or the socks on the floor and more attention to the kissing. Laugh more, stress less. Smile and have fun together. No vodka required. It's possible. Alcohol just allows us permission to do what we want to do anyway. So do it.