Don't stop playing hard to get even after you get married (or else!)

Jun 14, 2016 at 4:48 p.m. ET
Image: Colin Anderson/Getty Images

Sex is a strange thing and the longer you have been together, the weirder it becomes sometimes. A new study has found that the way we perceive our partner's interest in us actually affects how much sex we have. Apparently men in long term relationships often underperceive their partner's sexual desire and those whose partner's did "underperceive" were overall happier. In other words, keep playing hard to get ladies. It is working.

Researchers believe that men who think their partner's don't want them work harder to make them want them and thus offer more satisfaction. All these research speak kind of reaches back into age-old stereotypes about love and dating, right? Men who are less hot are often better in bed. Why? Because they have to be. And the same can be said about women, according to many men.

More: 7 signs your partner said 'I love you' too soon

As someone in a long term relationship, I can't help but chuckle. After 15 years with the same man, he still makes my heart flutter. Every time I look at him, I salivate. And yet he thinks I don't want him. There is no logic to this. I don't get it. Maybe I don't say it out loud enough. Maybe it's him and his not-so-hot sense of self, but either way, it's a fact.

After reading this, I know I have been right to keep quiet. I may find my husband's broad shoulders and thick arms and cut waist completely irresistable. I want to kiss him and hug him and have sex with him. All the time. But if he knew that, he might be cocky. So maybe it's not such a terrible thing that I keep it to myself. Maybe it makes him a better husband.

He once told me, the best women to marry were the ones who are hot now, but weren't always hot. They are more humble and smarter. Makes sense. If you can't fall back on looks, you fall back on other things. It turns out that old song about ugly women may have had a point.

Just kidding. But really: We should all be working to please our partners. Even if they salivate over our every move. Love is about wanting to make one another happy. And sex makes everyone smile.

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