7 wedding disasters that are scaring the crap out of me right now
There are so many details that can help contribute to a truly memorable wedding. However, what everyone always fails to mention are often what guests remember most — those little (and not so little) mess-ups that are bound to happen on your big day.
I'll give you a few examples, one of which I definitely witnessed first-hand. When it comes time for the groom to break the glass with his foot (in a Jewish ceremony), he misses and breaks the rabbi's foot instead. Or the maid of honor and best man are caught having sex in the newlywed's limo. Or the ring bearer takes off his pants seconds before walking down the aisle. If you look at my last name, you'll probably guess which one I saw happen.
Personally, I think it's good luck when epic fails like these go down at a wedding, but I know a lot of brides and brides-to-be who certainly wouldn't see it that way. However, we can all laugh at stories if they happened at someone else's wedding, right? Right. Here's a collection of some particularly great ones.
1. Wedding ring faux pas
It's bad luck to take off your wedding ring for any long stint of time in general, but right after the ceremony? There are no words for that. Here's the story from Eric, a contractor from North Carolina who was a guest at said naughty husband's wedding.
"Technically at the reception, DJ goes on mic and says, 'A man's wedding band was found in the bathroom. If it's yours please come claim it.' Five minutes later the groom sheepishly walks up to the DJ to pick up his ring." I hope the DJ gave him five minutes in time out after that.
2. Never a faint moment
Sounds like somebody got to partying a little prematurely. Jack, a theater producer from Oregon, recounts:
"One of the groomsmen passed out during the ceremony. We caught him and lowered him to the ground. His dad thought he needed to be moved, so he got up in the middle of the service and grabbed him and dragged him back to a pew. As he did, the groomsman's tuxedo pants pulled right down to his knees, and there his dad was dragging him, passed out, down the aisle with his pants down. It was pretty hilarious."
Note to everyone: Do not, I repeat, do not leave a giant cake out in warm temperatures, unless you want to recreate the Leaning (and subsequently falling) Tower of Pisa.
"The giant four-tiered cake was delivered four hours too soon. The venue was a bit warm which caused the whole cake to lose structural integrity and collapse. Thankfully no one was close to it," Kevin, a personal assistant from Florida, told me.
4. Ring bearer down!
This is what happens when your ring bearer stays up too late the night before binge-watching Ninja Turtles.
"Our wedding was somehow scheduled during the ring bearer's nap time, so they had to find a last-minute replacement because he refused to get dressed. My brother, who was already 10 at the time, had to step in as the understudy. However, the videographer was able to get the original ring bearer walking down the aisle later on, so he just edited that into our wedding video," said Sunny, an actor from New York.
5. When you have a canine for a ring bearer...
...Sometimes it's adorable, and sometimes this happens.
"I was at a wedding where the ring bearer lost the ring and we all had to spend a while combing the outdoor venue searching for it. Apparently it was OK because they had backup rings. It was also hard to blame the ring bearer because he was a dog," David, a development associate, told me.
6. The waterworks
Outdoor weddings in general always seem to come with a bunch of unforeseen obstacles. Case in point: Matt's nuptials experience.
"Near the end of the ceremony, the sprinkler system went off right in the middle of where everyone was. We all got up and moved into a giant standing circle to finish." Well, at least we know there wasn't a dry eye in the house! Bahzing!
7. Too many shots
I'm sure you can guess how this one turns out. Peter, a news blogger from New Jersey, experienced a wedding replete with old world traditions.
"Shanghai, 2005. Bride and groom were going around table-to-table thanking all the guests, and at each table, taking a celebratory shot of the disgusting (and strong) Chinese hard liquor, Baijiu. By the time they got to my table, the bride looked quite drunk, and visibly in discomfort, then took her shot and threw up on the table. Superb." That's a word for it.
I'm actually looking forward to a few unplanned, and perhaps slightly unpleasant "disasters" on my own wedding day, because with fails come laughter, and that to me makes a wedding. Here's hoping it doesn't involve me tripping on my own wedding gown and falling into the harbor... I just jinxed myself, didn't I?
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