The size of your diamond has nothing to do with the size of your love

Apr 13, 2016 at 11:07 a.m. ET

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Ooh-ing and aah-ing over the ring is part of celebrating an engagement — we all do it. And that ring is important. Remember Carrie’s disappointment in Sex and the City when she found the "pear-shaped diamond with a gold band" in Aidan’s bag?

But when it comes to an engagement ring, should size matter? It's a subject close to one woman's heart, and her views have gone viral after she posted on Facebook about her "small" engagement ring.

Rachel Pedersen from Minnesota shared a picture of the ring gifted to her by her husband Poul, which has a 1/4-carat diamond center, and revealed that friends and family often ask her when she is getting an "upgrade."

"I've even had one person say 'you could wear a bigger ring for important events, so people don't think you're not successful,'" wrote the 27-year-old mom of two. "Since when did the size of someone's ring become an indication of success?!"

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The Pedersens' love story — they met at a Perkin’s diner, eloped 13 days later, and Poul "drained his savings" to buy his bride "a small token of his love" — is all the proof we need that an engagement ring shouldn't be a status symbol.


A 2014 survey found that the size of the engagement ring was one of the top reasons for women deeming their partner's proposal a disappointment. Of the engaged, married and divorced women surveyed, 10 percent of them said they would change the size of their diamond — and presumably they wouldn't make it smaller. Some women even said they made sure their own rings were "bigger and better" than their friends'.

As a piece of jewelry that's intended to be on the hand for a lifetime, of course it's important that a married woman loves her engagement ring. We all have different ideas of what is beautiful and we don't all lust after Tiffany solitaires (there are women out there who would wear Carrie Bradshaw's dreaded pear-shaped diamond with a gold band with pride.).

But if the size of the diamond is the top priority, maybe it's time to give a little thought to the love it represents, which can't be measured in carats. Surely we'd all take Pedersen's small ring and big love over an enormous rock and loveless relationship?

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