Stories of lost and found wedding rings can be sentimental and a memory to share with your kids sometime in the future.
But then some stories are ones that don’t need to be shared… ever. Apparently one married guy didn’t understand that and instead shared his own special wedding ring lost and found story on Reddit.
And this one is pretty NSFW, just so you know.
Reddit user ring-tailed posted in the TIFU subreddit — an acronym for “Today, I F***ed Up” — and said that he was getting busy with his wife after his large weight loss when things took an uncomfortable turn, fast.
“I was a big guy at the time of my wedding, and as a result of the weight loss my wedding ring is now a whole lot looser around my finger,” he wrote, adding that his “new sexy physique” inspired his wife to initiate anal sex.
“Excellent plan, of course,” he said of the suggestion. “I got the lube and used copious amounts. ”
They proceeded to have some fun until he noticed something was missing. “‘Hey, my ring came off,’ I said. ‘Probably on the mattress,’ she replied.”
It wasn’t there. It wasn’t on the ground either. Where was the ring? Well, they put two and two together and soon figured out that it likely slipped off during sex. He “spent a good 10 minutes” trying to get it out of her rectum, to no avail.
Luckily, it didn’t result in a hospital visit, but it definitely wasn’t a pleasant experience for her.
“We finally had to give up the search. She drank 4 cups of coffee over the course of the next hour and made her retreat to the bathroom with a box of rubber gloves,” he wrote. “From the living room I heard an explosive splattering sound, followed by a faint ‘Oh my God…'” he continued.
“After half an hour of scrubbing she handed me my ring back without making eye contact. So now, whenever I look at my ring, I’m reminded of the vow I took to always be at the side of my lovely wife, on the day of our beautiful wedding ceremony. And how this particular piece of jewelry was violently blasted out of her” during their unfortunate intimate moment.
Just… wow. It’s a good thing Reddit is pretty anonymous, because we’re pretty sure she’d put her ring where the sun don’t shine if her real name got out there.