If you are like me, then you have been married a lot longer than dating apps (and even online dating, really) have been around. Yep. I’m old. And 15 years ago, when my husband and I got together, very few people were online dating and smart phones weren’t invented yet. The horror!
Back then, dating was a matter of who your friends fixed you up with, what parties you attended and what bars you frequented. There were a lot less opportunities to rate people based on looks and their photos. What a shame.
Buzzfeed offered people like me the opportunity to try dating apps and the results were pretty funny:
As a long married person, I am both fascinated and horrified by things like Tinder. In many ways, it feels like dating has been commodified. And that is troublesome. All of a sudden, we are not assessing people for their in-person appeal and the chemistry we have together, we are looking at their quick hits — their resume, their looks, their earning potential, their interests as listed in a hastily prepared “bio.” It’s the same principle as when you apply for a job. A person can look good on paper, but well….
Maybe I am old and old-fashioned. I probably am. But I still think meeting in person is the best way to go. A man can have everything that seems wonderful on paper and just not work in person. It takes more than good looks and a good pedigree to create that va-va-voom needed to sustain a long term love and relationship.
But hey, maybe people do meet on Tinder and find their happy ever after. Certainly, online dating has come a long way and many of the men and women I know met that way. People swear by it. But from my experience, nothing can compare to the feeling I got when I first went to lunch with my husband after not seeing him for 10 years (we went to elementary school together). The sparks flew and I almost immediately knew that this was a person I could spend a lot of time with. From there, things only grew.
A guy can be hot. He can be smart. He can be well-read with a great job. And he can still be the wrong fit. Of course, I am also envious of the fun from Tinder. Not every guy needs to be marriage material. Sometimes it can just be fun to date. And for that, Tinder can’t be beaten.