From dates that lead to grand theft to creepy guys who insist on ordering for you, you never quite know what you’re going to wind up with when you go on a Tinder date with a total stranger.
Check out these Tinder horror stories shared by Reddit users in a harrowing thread, along with some basic common sense tips to help you avoid enduring the worst date ever.
1. Your date steals your car
“My buddy isn’t the smartest man. He picked a chick up and drove to a motel. They were walking into the room and she says, “oh shit, I forgot my purse in the car do you mind if I go grab it?” He says, “yeah that’s fine,” and tosses her the keys. 5 minutes later he walks outside wondering where she is and his car is gone.” — pointynipples69
The lesson? Don’t trust strangers with your valuables! Ever.
2. Your date may just be an axe murderer
“Started seeing a girl off Tinder. It was going well for about two weeks and thought she was pretty cool. Then things started getting weird. She used to always joke about killing me. I thought it was OK the first few times but then it got annoying. I told her to stop and she kept doing it. I don’t know if it was because she thought it was funny that it freaked me out or what. Anyway, she told me she has a shotgun in her room. Yikes. Long story short I told her I didn’t want to see her anymore. She didn’t like that. For the next three weeks she’s absolutely hounding me. Calls me constantly, shows up at my work asking for me, keeps coming over to my apartment. She actually knocked on my door for 30 minutes. When I didn’t answer, she went around back and started knocking on my bedroom window. Got really concerned for a while but eventually she gave up.” — Bixta14
The takeaway here seems pretty obvious: When your date starts talking about killing you, that should be a total red flag.
3. And she’ll have the salad
“En route to the Worst Date Ever, this guy texted me from the burrito place we were meeting, to tell me he’d already ordered me the salad. I repeat: SALAD. At a burrito place. Also, was this the past? Was I now incapable of placing my own food order? Anyway… After arriving – with my salad ready, beside his plate of tacos – he spent the next half an hour telling me about his model ex-girlfriend and how passionate their ‘breakup sex’ had been…last weekend. The final straw was – even after telling him I wasn’t a big fan of smoking — he literally asked a stranger for cigarettes and then chain smoked them beside me.” — HarveyGonzales
This one is just too much to handle. There’s no way I could ever endure eating a salad while watching someone else eat tacos. If any guy ever pulls the “and she’ll have the salad” move, run.
4. Your date has your entire future mapped out
“He started talking about how now that we were going out, I couldn’t wear nail polish because he got weirded out holding hands with someone who wore nail polish and how he wanted to have a daughter but freeze her in time at the age of 4 so that she’d always be a Daddys girl and love him forever and how when we got old we’d have to have sex with the lights off since I’d be wrinkly and unattractive and just went on and on. I literally just stared at him speechless and tried to get through the date expecting, at the very least, a free meal. But noooooo, no free meal. In fact, more expensive meal. This guy had the nerve to ask the waitress to split the check when he ordered twice what I had! We paid, I stormed out, and never talked to him again.” — corncasserole007
Everyone needs an escape plan when they go on a restaurant date with someone they’ve never met. Have a friend call and check in with you. Pick a code phrase like “The salmon looks good here” if you need them to come up with a fake emergency to get you out of there. Dating site eHarmony even has a Bad Date Rescue app that’ll simplify the whole process.
And make sure you bring enough cash to cover just your order so you don’t get suckered into splitting the bill with someone who orders half the menu.
5. Your date bails to play Frisbee when you won’t buy him two six-packs
“Showed up to the restaurant, waited about 30 minutes. Ordered myself some food and was about to leave when he texted me: ‘there’s a liquor store across the street from the restaurant, can you pick me up 2 six packs?’ I told him I wouldn’t. He says he’s decided to play frisbee with his dog instead. Deleted app, went to liquor store, picked up wine and went home.” — buttermuseum
Unless they have a pretty original excuse, no first date is worth waiting 30 minutes for. Give them 20 minutes max. Because there are so many more useful things you could be doing with your time, like meeting your next Tinder match, who’s hopefully not a total flaky weirdo. Now good luck out there!