Why we should all start seizing the moment with our love lives

Dec 29, 2015 at 12:00 p.m. ET
Image: Hoxton/Tom Merton/Getty Images

I can't be the only girl who meets up with her other girlfriends to discuss how a guy has liked three of my Instagrams, but hasn't texted. We upload a hot photo, hoping he notices, and when he doesn't "like" it, we take it personally and refuse to talk to him. We have all been there.

Now, social media has become our own personal tabloid. It is our way of creating false headlines for the public to buy into an illusion that we are doing something completely different than what we are actually doing. I am guilty of it too.

Just recently, I was talking to a girlfriend who was describing a situation with this guy who she has been seeing, but she had to have "the conversation" with him. Five months into it, he was still playing this game of chicken. "I am afraid that I will lose him if I tell him what's on my mind," she told me.

She then went on to tell me she knows he likes her because of how he likes all of her pictures on social media and will text her that he misses her. Still, he doesn't do anything about it. I told her a guy who likes you isn't afraid to hear that you like him — it would make him happy. She feared she would seem like a crazy person for wanting to have "the talk" — it would kill the illusion that they have the potential to be something. All the plans she had with him would leave with him.

We all throw our hopes into someone, and when they exit, it is also the death of not only everything we had, but everything we hoped to have — which is sometimes even more painful. We would rather work on something we have already started rather than go back to square one. Starting over can be annoying.

I have been the girl who was too scared to have the conversation. Who wants to talk about their feelings when they can be doing something else?

I am saying we all need to stop acting as if we are Tuck Everlasting and allowing ourselves to die with our thoughts and moments that could have happened. Finding someone to like in this world is a luxury, and there are 10 million dating sites to back me up on this. We are all searching in some form — whether it be the "I don't care" approach or the girl who has every app possible on her phone — to meet someone.

Life isn't forever and 10 minutes of rejection is far better than a lifetime of wondering. We can all fake it, hoping something real will happen — or we can be honest, not only with the other person, but also with ourselves. Who knows? We might be surprised with the outcome.

I've come to learn we need to stop avoiding moments, because we're afraid they will end our lives. The reality is, we slowly die by not seizing the moment. Live a life that is full and authentic and look for someone who does the same. When you're honest with yourself, you become closer to the person you want to be.