Woman finds out her stalker is actually her husband

Jul 8, 2015 at 1:30 p.m. ET

Imagine being stalked for years. Imagine being terrified to leave your home for fear of what is waiting around the corner. Now imagine you found out the person putting you through such stress was actually the man you are living with. That's exactly what happened to one woman in Utah.

The woman from Utah is now separated from her husband, but for 10 years, he sent her constant harassing and threatening emails — up to 40 a day — and has since confessed to doing it because she cheated on him 10 years ago and he is still angry.

Talk about crazy.

The story lacks a number of details, but one of my biggest questions is how on earth this was allowed to go on for as long as it was. As someone who writes online, I have been subject to a number of weird stalking incidents. With that in mind, here are some thoughts:

1.) There is always help. If someone is threatening you, fight it. Tell the police. Talk to your work. Make sure everyone knows.

2.) Do your research. If someone is sending you photos of themselves, plug those photos into a reverse photo search and see what you can dig up.

3.) If all else fails, stalk him back. Hire a PI.

More: 7 Steps to saving your marriage after infidelity

The reality is, women must take all incidents like this seriously. This isn't unlike the urban legend about the babysitter with the prank caller who was "inside the house." Only this is real. No matter what this husband thought he was getting revenge for, it pales in comparison to what he put her through. Hopefully he will be punished. But for the rest of us, we should always remember to protect ourselves as best we can, suspect that it is someone we know (since it often is), and get help.

More: The real reason 'happy' married people cheat is so surprising

Hopefully, sometime in the future, stalking will be taken as seriously as it should be. My heart goes out to her.