50 Percent of women fantasize about someone else while with their husbands

Jun 8, 2015 at 11:59 a.m. ET
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We all know what we are supposed to think about when we are in bed with our spouse, right? "Focus on the moment," we are told time and again. But some of us are guilty of wandering. The grocery list. The dog that needs a walk. And that's not even the half of it.

A new study from sex toy brand Lovehoney in the UK shows that half of women fantasize about having sex with another man while they are engaged in sex with their current partner.

Ouch.

Amazingly, only 42 percent of men said the same thing. So ladies, when he gets that far off look in his eye, it's not his ex he's thinking about at all...So what does it all mean?

The truth is, it doesn't mean much at all. Fantasy is a healthy, normal part of any marriage. We all want to pretend like it is somehow cheating (or worse), but it's perfectly normal. So don't feel guilty when you are under him and your thoughts wander. Sometimes it's the little push you need to go over the top and then you both benefit.

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On the other hand, if it is happening constantly and is something that makes it hard for you to finish without, then maybe it is a problem. So what can you do?

Focus on the moment. That's it. Think about where his hands are. Shut your eyes. Breathe deep and breathe out stress. The more you can be in the moment, the better. So talk dirty. Nothing anchors one to the moment more than a little "oh baby" talk and once you start, it's hard to stop.

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How do you anchor yourself to the moment? What do you fantasize about?

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