Women want casual sex just as much as men

May 11, 2015 at 1:49 p.m. ET
Image: Britt Erlanson/cultura/gettyimages

Contrary to our popular image of the woman who wants a long-term commitment every time she gets into bed, a new study reveals that women, too, in a perfect world, want casual sex.

In the test, 60 heterosexual men and women went into a lab and were shown photos of the opposite sex and were told that the person wanted to have sex with them. They then had to indicate whether they would and then were allegedly going to go on a date. Both the men and women said they would assuming safety could be guaranteed.

Cue the internet freak out.

Except this: Why is anyone surprised? We have been told time and again that women love sex, too. And yet every time it comes up, we are shocked. Let's get over that. Women like sex, too. They like it so much that they would have it casually if it were safe. Unfortunately, that's a big "if."

The reason women don't go home with strangers more or have more "casual" encounters has little to do with whether or not they want it. Most of us do. It has everything to do with gender constructs and what women feel is safe to do. If they go to a man's house and he gets rough, does that mean she will later hear she was asking for it? We women are trained from birth to be afraid. We can't walk alone at night. We can't drink too much. We can't wear a miniskirt. And it's all because we might get blamed if something happens. Ridiculous? Yes. But also terribly true.

So let's not wonder whether women want sex the same as men anymore. Let's try to find ways to make things safer for women and stop acting surprised by their sexuality. You don't get a lock on enjoying sex, men. Grow up.

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