Woman goes on more than 130 first dates without getting asked on a second

May 11, 2015 at 8:45 a.m. ET
Image: Ale Ventura/PhotoAlto Agency RF Collections/Getty Images

For the past year and a half, 35-year-old Belinda Stuckey has gone out twice a week with men she met online. She has met 130+ men in total during her foray into online dating and not one of them has morphed into a second date. Insane.

Stuckey tells the Daily Mail she has no idea why it's been so difficult to find a second date through online dating. She has been using eHarmony. Here's what she says:

"There's just no connection or chemistry. If I'm so popular then why am I still single? It's important to me - I really want to find a partner. You have to have thick skin and take it with a grain of salt. If I don't hear from him again I wonder what I did to turn him off - 'Did i do something wrong? Did I not show enough skin? What can I do better next time?'"

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It's pretty shocking and depressing, but Stuckey's experience is also a lesson in the magic of chemistry. The fact is, online dating can be successful. But it can also be a big mess. You can't fake chemistry. And you can't find it on paper.

I once dated a man who looked, on paper, like my perfect match. Smart, funny, well-educated, great job. We got along on email and on the phone and I found him fascinating and sweet. When we met in person, I felt no spark. I wanted to. I tried. But it didn't exist.

We went on a few more dates so I could test it, but for me, it just never took off. Then a few weeks later, I re-met my husband (I'd known him the first time in elementary school and high school) and the sparks flew everywhere. Every time we looked at each other it was sizzle. You can't fake it.

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So what would my advice be to Stuckey? Keep trying! Or, better yet, let it happen organically. Online dating can be successful, but it can also be like trying to fish in the dark. What really brings two people together isn't what happens on paper. It's what happens in person. That's where the magic is.

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