Dating can be tricky, especially during those first few months when you’ve met someone you really like but are still feeling them out. Every moment seems to matter so much, and you’re constantly trying to figure out where you stand and if this relationship could turn into something long term.
As an expert matchmaker, I hear singles complain on a regular basis that someone they really liked disappeared after a few great dates and they have no idea what happened. After so many years in the love business I definitely have an inside scoop on the things singles do during this critical time that drive people nuts, and are often deal breakers.
If you are dating someone new and want to make sure it doesn’t fall apart before it really gets started, pay close attention to these six things to steer clear of!
1. Failing to seduce each other
Want to impress your date? Get your seduction on! Seduction is all about having inner confidence, listening to the other person, being curious about them and understanding their point of view. Touch is an imperative part of seduction. Use touch in a natural way to get close to your date. Connect with them and break boundaries. Lean in! If you are able to do this naturally throughout the night, your date won’t even know what hit them. Of course, make sure that you are both on the same page before you lean in too close!
2. Acting jealous
Jealousy isn’t sexy. From my experience, it is one of the most common things that will prompt someone to end a new relationship on the spot. If you care about the person you are seeing, do not snoop through their cell phone or check their emails. You should also refrain from prying about any past relationships. Details will come out in time if there is something that you should know. For now, focus on getting to know them and seeing if you can build trust and a strong foundation.
3. Giving in to insecurity and neediness
People are drawn to confidence, end of story! We all want our date to walk into a room with their shoulders back, feeling amazing and flaunting their stuff. No one is perfect, but confidence will allow the imperfections and insecurities to take a back seat.
Take a little extra time to get ready for your date. Put on that outfit that you’ve been saving for a special occasion. After all, what could be more important or special than feeling good and impressing that special someone?
4. Abandoning your life
When you really like someone it is natural to want to spend all of your time with them, but don’t forget that you had a life before you both met. One person should never be your only source of happiness. It is too much pressure to feel like you are responsible for another person at all times and that you can’t make plans with friends or get the things you need to done because of them. Keep the balance and I promise it will make your relationship stronger.
5. Harping on the past
No one likes to be nagged or hassled, especially about things that happened in the past that they thought were resolved already, or didn’t matter that much to begin with. My advice is to calmly communicate at the time of an incident, and then to let it go. If it’s not something that you can forgive and forget, then this relationship probably won’t make it past a few months.
6. Losing the fun
In new relationships everyone is usually extra willing to go above and beyond for the person they are with. They plan exciting dates, hang out with their partner’s friends, leave cute little notes, etc. But then, a few months go by and all of a sudden they don’t want to go out as much anymore, they get comfortable and stop putting in that extra effort. Their partner hanging out with their friends suddenly becomes a problem! There is no reason that this fun and exciting stage of a relationship has to fade. Keep things interesting. Surprise each other, and work hard to keep that fun alive!
Ultimately, dating should be exciting and not something to stress over. Enjoy the process of getting to know someone new! I know that it can be hard to control automatic impulses like jealousy, anger or codependency, but work on trusting the natural process of dating. As long as you are true to yourself and keep these tips in mind, you will do just fine!